Down to the wire

Make or break time for some of the candidates and time to face reality for most of the rest. Let’s chat, shall we?

(Poliblog, a site that needs blogrolling, was most helpful for all this)

Wesley Clark: Well, so far you’re front-running for OK, which should get you a seat at the table if the Democrats get a brokered convention, but other than that you’re pretty much done, huh? Bad call on letting Moore graphically exhibit his rectocranial inversion all over your candidacy; you were supposed to draw off Republican votes, and you get an endorsement from a guy we all despise – and I mean really despise. Good call. Next time, try not to emulate McClellan quite so much; you’d have been better off running for Senate/the House and working your way up, bucko.

Howard Dean: Well, it was harsh, but dropping these oarticular primaries was probably the best bet. You had to gnaw Trippi off and retreat to a better position – hey, there’s no real shame in retreating. The Klingons say that only a fool fights in a burning house, and that sucker had just gone up. My coblogger supports you, so I’ll be kind: Howard, you believed your own hype, and you got slugged in the stomach for it. On the plus side, you’ve still got your supporters, you can actually get money out of the Internet and the current front-runner has image issues. Now is the time to call your shots and keep Kerry from getting enough delegates to make this moot. Get your foot in the convention door and your problems become your plusses.
And for God’s sake, take this opportunity to ‘redefine’ your stance on the war. You want to win, right?

John Edwards: You’re young, you’re Southern, you’re ahead in SC, your campaign has a good reputation about it, of all the Democrats you’re probably the most palatable to the most people: why aren’t you the front-runner? What are we all missing?

John Kerry: On the one hand, you’re the front-runner, so anything I say about you will be discounted because everyone’s going to be assuming that I want to do you dirt. On the other… heh. I don’t have to say a word, don’t I? Your compatriots will do it for me. Enjoy the polls, Kerry: enjoy them while you can, for they can be fleeting, and I can think of at least two candidates that will be happy to claim that your good poll numbers are easily transferable…
BTW, you’re expected to win all seven elections tomorrow, and guess what the new news meme will be if you don’t? You heard it here first and pleasant dreams…

Dennis Kuchinich: Well, it’s one way to meet women, I will admit.

Ninja: It’s OK, Joe: you did your best. You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of. Just put it all down and walk away, head high. There’s nothing left to prove, and nothing left for you to do. Finish up these primaries and go home. I say this with all due respect and civility. It’s time for you to go home.

Al Sharpton: God, how I hope that you don’t get a single damn delegate from anywhere. However, there’s some indication that this gets to be the year where Everything Bad Happens To The Democrats At Once, so that’s probably a foolish hope. At least you’re unlikely to Buchananize the Democratic Convention… oh, hell, right, Everything Bad At Once.