Maybe it’s the overcast skies…maybe it’s the state of the world, I don’t know. But I was feeling a bit down today, so I was happy to come across this article in the NYTimes about how stand-up comedians are dishing up the election. Some favorites:
- “I hear the war for Iraq has cost us $200 billion,” said Matt Bellace, caught at Caroline’s on Broadway. “Did anyone think of just buying Iraq?”
- “Kerry disagrees with himself every 20 minutes,” [Jackie] Mason continued. “But he just agreed on the debates. The first two are going to be with himself.”
- “[Kerry] doesn’t have a presidential face,” [Marc] Theobald said. “If you were sitting in a doctor’s office and he walked in, you’d say, `Oh, my God, I’m dying.’ “
- “I got a call from a Marine recruiter saying, `You sound like a young man who needs direction,’ ” said Lamar Williams, an amiable gap-toothed comic in his early 20’s. “I said: `I read the paper. I’m not going anywhere.’ “
- Sherrod Small, the M.C., also got on the bandwagon, chiding visitors to the recent Republican National Convention. “Those are the white people who white people call white people,” said Mr. Small, who is black.
- Dean Obeidallah, a Palestinian-American comic,…suggested that the Democrats dump Mr. Kerry for a stronger, more popular candidate: William Hung, the off-key cult balladeer from “American Idol.”
- I like the way [Bush] says it: `Tear-ah!’ ” [Darrell] Hammond said, going into his Bush imitation: ” `I don’t need the O or the R to protect America!’ “
“It’s a weird time to be an Arab-American,” he continued. “It’s strange being referred to as a militant, gunman or terrorist. Or on good days, as an alleged militant, gunman or terrorist.”