Edward(s) for President

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Ever begun to wonder (somewhere between that 2nd and 3rd cocktail) if you’d make a good president? Yes, you? Political Junkie, blog-addict, arm-chair pundit…it’s had to occur to you, even if only to imagine yourself with access to the WH’s infamous kitchen or to search out the supposed secret tunnels under the Rose Garden. (Does Air Force One have a waterbed?)

Would I make a good president? Of course, someone with my values should lead the country (otherwise, why vote?), but do my particular set of opinions on the most pressing issues add up to what’s best for the nation at this point in time?

I ask because as I read the NYTimes this morning, keenly aware that I need to cast my vote a week from Tuesday and I’m still torn, I came across a list of how Kerry and Edwards (who has a really nice name, I should point out) stand on various issues. Right down the list, I agreed fully with Kerry’s positions. And at first I thought, “That settles it.”

But then it occurred to me (about midway toward my fourth cocktail…just kidding, I only have three before work), that perhaps I wouldn’t make a particularly good President. Perhaps I’m too jaded. Perhaps I’m too bitter. Perhaps I’m too good looking (cocktails speaking again).

Edwards offers a clean start. On some levels he’s more beatable than Kerry, and I’m not anything if not Anyone But Bush, but I really want to be optimistic about the future. Bush just plain out scares me and Kerry’s good on paper, but how much fresh air does his presidency promise?

Hiding in the shadows of this decision-making process for me is a sense I’ve had for many years that at some point I would cross over from the “now” generation into the “then” generation, and would have to surrender the joystick over to the future. I’m actually younger than Edwards, but there’s something about his candidacy, something green (read: untested) that strikes me as the perfect antedote to the malaise I sense in the nation.

More than anything, I think Edwards stands the best chance of actually uniting the US. Something I doubt either Bush or Kerry could do.

Consider this an endorsement.

54 thoughts on “Edward(s) for President”

  1. Agreed. Not that that is a great chance — Washington, DC, is now a town populated to a surprising degree by individuals who derive their living from exacerbating the country’s divided-ness. But Edwards is the only one who could conceivably grasp that slender reed — in Bart Simpson parlance, to try to try.
    On a side note, alas, Air Force One does not have a waterbed. I would imagine, however, that if the President were to put in a request — or if his doctor were to suggest it, perhaps…

  2. Great post. And someone writing who has a sense of humor, finally! I agree about Edwards as well. Kerry and Bush both represent far too much of the corporate stranglehold on politics. It’s time to put more of the power back to the people.

  3. It’s time to put more of the power back to the people.
    On that note, Populism seems to be playing a strange new role in this election. Even with Dr. Dean bowing out, there’s a sense of inevitability about a populist message winning the day. Guess that’s what all that secrecy brings…

  5. Mark S wrote:

    Agreed. Not that that is a great chance — Washington, DC, is now a town populated to a surprising degree by individuals who derive their living from exacerbating the country’s divided-ness.

    Like a Presidential wannabee whose campaign theme is “Two Americas.”
    Wilfred wrote:

    It’s time to put more of the power back to the people.

    But only if those people are members of the Plaintiff’s bar.

  6. Thorley, it’s stunning how you shifted from your attack on Kerry to one on Edwards so quickly…do you have notes on all the Democratic candidates written on little index cards?

  7. You could count on me 24-7. 24 hours a week, 7 months a year. I would probably be more a fly off to Nascar events, clearing brush from around my hacienda in south Detroit, prezel-eating type of president than a get up early, work late calling congressmen with an intern under my desk type. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’d want to go overseas alot more than Bush. I would challedge Chiraq in a wine drinking contest, winner gets Iraq. It might be time to meet with Reu in Bavaria, round about October, and talk about the future of NATO. Its pretty clear that I could do alot to shore up international relations.
    Anyway, Kerry for his policy knowledge, Edwards for his charisma, either one is better than Bush and lesser than me.

  8. Fabius,
    We clearly need a president with your degree of self-confidence, but, with regard to your emphasis on shoring up international relations, where do you stand on the number one issue dividing the US and Europe: topless beaches?

  9. And someone writing who has a sense of humor, finally!
    So true. We’ve been sorrowfully afflicted by the grim rhetoric of Moe Lane and somber tomes of Von. Is it too much to ask for a little wry with that toast?[/just wondering where the above comment came from]

  10. where do you stand on the number one issue dividing the US and Europe: topless beaches?
    Dunno about Fabius, but I stand a little ways in front of the most attractive woman there, facing away from the water.

  12. Edward – my first act a President will be to appoint a blue ribbon panel, which I will head myself, to investigate that issue. I have particular interest in knowing what their impact on Super Bowl half time shows might be (that, and how far I could slide naked across a row of well oiled topless Italian woman).

  13. and how far I could slide naked across a row of well oiled topless Italian woman
    hmmm….sound like you might have more in common with the “work late calling congressmen with an intern under my desk type” president than you’ve initially let on…

  14. Fabius wrote:

    Anyway, Kerry for his policy knowledge

    As evidenced no doubt by the impressive number of bills he sponsored which became law over his nearly two decades in the Senate.

    Edwards for his charisma

    Only among those who confuse smarm with charm.

  16. BTW, since Edward brought it up, I was visiting such a beach in Dahob, a little speck of beach in the Negev desert on the Gulf of Aquba. There were many minor delights, such as watching the floating mammeries of the scuba divers as I (a snorkler) rush up to the surface for air. One sight I’ll never forget is that of a gorgeous German girl; beautiful, buxom and blond walking along the beach as the Betouin began their evening prayers. She walked right threw them in shocking disregard for their faith. The sun was setting and the colors of the sky infected the hues in the water, the sand, our skin. As the colors ran together the contrast in cultures was striking. The Betouin just kept saying their prayers. It was one of those images you can only find in travel and that Kodak probably can’t capture.

  17. sound like you might have more in common with the “work late calling congressmen with an intern under my desk type” president than you’ve initially let on
    Power corrupts.

  18. As evidenced no doubt by the impressive number of bills he sponsored which became law over his nearly two decades in the Senate.
    Lucky he wont have to sponsor bills as cheif executive.

  19. She walked right threw them in shocking disregard for their faith.
    That touches on the culture wars question yesterday…where does one’s right to their religious beliefs end as it begins to impinge on another’s civil liberties?
    I spent three years living in Europe, at the end of which I had overcome my Midwestern modesty about topless beaches, so they seem natural to me now, but I remember blushing a bit the first time a European woman took off her top while talking to me, unaware that she was doing something rather shocking in my culture.
    The answer seems to be, don’t expect people in an area reserved for topless bathing to put their tops back on just because it’s time to pray, and don’t take your top off on a beach not reserved for topless bathing. At least that seems the temporary answer…what comes next is anyone’s guess.

  20. Only among those who confuse smarm with charm.
    And you think I do? Listen, my friend, I brought well researched comments on wine, beer and topless beaches to this thread and all you come up with is a wild accusation against me that you couldn’t prove even if I released the scoured documents. Why troll a group blog anyway? There’s already plenty of conservatives around here to bust me for bullshit on the rare occasion I try to slip some in. Look! Drum has another post on aWol!

  21. Edward – I was walking back to my hut just like she was. I didn’t walk them, I walked around them. She should have done the same. Yet, her rude behavior afforted me that remarkable sight.

  24. I’m actually younger than Edwards, but there’s something about his candidacy, something green (read: untested) that strikes me as the perfect antedote to the malaise I sense in the nation.
    I’m 20, and he definitely feels like the candidate I can connect with best personally. Then again, that might be because of his scary good political skills rather than his age.

  25. I’m 20, and he definitely feels like the candidate I can connect with best personally.
    Ahh, 20…I remember it well.
    OK, so I don’t, but I have pictures to prove I was there.
    What is it about Edwards, do you think, that younger people connect with? Dean’s the only one who’s gotten much press out of mobilizing younger voters.

  26. I know what Kerry stands for (even if he’s a bit confused on that point), so my Anyone-But-Kerry vote is definitely pointed away from the frontrunner. As soon as Edwards begins to make a decent showing, I suppose I’ll have to check him out.
    Nader…confront him you must. Only then, a Jedi will you be.

  27. You can ask Thorley for the short list of Edwards’s shortcomings, if you’re in a hurry Slarti…he seems to have criticisms of every contender except Bush at his fingertips.

  28. I second this post.
    I might vote for Dean anyway, since:
    1) I’m stubborn like that, and moreover
    2) I live in Massachusetts so I don’t think Edwards has much shot, and also
    3) I enjoy the feeling of being one of those mysterious, alluring undecided voters for once in my life. Pander to me, Senators! Pander!

  29. NOOOOOOOOO!!!!
    Katherine you must vote for Giblets! Giblets’s last chance is Super Tuesday. He is running a National Campaign and cannot cherry-pick states but STILL! He needs those precious undecideds to swing his way! Giblets will eliminate hte millions who are unemployed and without health care! Giblets will put an end to the Middle East! Conflict! Vooooote for Giiiiiblets! Please?

  30. I enjoy the feeling of being one of those mysterious, alluring undecided voters for once in my life. Pander to me, Senators! Pander!

    Fabius, you still in the race? What you gonna offer Katherine for her vote? (Keep it decent.)

  31. We’ve been sorrowfully afflicted by the grim rhetoric of Moe Lane and somber tomes of Von.
    Uh oh. I should have read the Fab before I posted my somber piece on the RICO act . . . . Playing right into type, I fear.

  34. I’m confused. I thought Giblets was a dictator — why is he grubbing for votes? Hasn’t he already “convinced” all the poll workers to count the votes “properly”?

  35. I’m confused. I thought Giblets was a dictator — why is he grubbing for votes?
    Good point KenB. Giblets has been quoted as saying:

    Voters are a bad influence on democracy and would be best served if their brains were scooped out and replaced with complex robo-programs which would compel them to serve me.

    I’d be weary if I were you Katherine and Von…Giblets has Stepford Wife-esque designs on your brains…

  36. That settles it then, I’m dismantling my campaign.
    Why, when it would seem with Dean gone, Fafnir’s endorsement is now back up for grabs? Unless Macallan has convinced him that Undersecretary really does mean what he thinks it does….
    Vooooote for Giiiiiblets! Please?
    This clearly is not the Giblets we know so well. Thorley, do you have the real Giblets stuffed in a turkey somewhere??

  37. And why is Giblets begging for Katherine’s vote, but not Edward’s? This “Giblets” poster must be an imposter, probably Edward himself, trying to make us think Giblets had gone soft so that we would throw our vote over to Edward. Nice try, Edward! We see your little game! But pretty soon Thorley will give us the secret list of all your shortcomings, and then your campaign will be burnt toast!

  39. Actually, so do I. Well, a little bit burnt, anyway. OK, I hereby pledge my vote to Edward, the Burnt Toast Candidate. But only if you promise to be just a little black around the edges, rather than across the entire surface, otherwise I shall have to scrape you.

  40. What is it about Edwards, do you think, that younger people connect with? Dean’s the only one who’s gotten much press out of mobilizing younger voters.
    At the risk of being too obvious, a lot of it might be that he’s the younger of the two candidates. John Kerry is an old fart who doesn’t “understand” us. Also, younger voters want to be excited — that’s the main reason we latched on to Dean. Edwards’ campaign seems fun and exciting (just look at his web site); he sends out a bunch of emails talking about how JRE is on the rise and having such a good time (so fun!!!) trying to become president. Meanwhile, Kerry just seems to be going after the typical Democratic consitutencies (read: old people) and ignoring us. Oh yeah, and we don’t care about Vietnam and NEVER NEVER NEVER want to hear about it again. EVER.
    So yeah.

  41. I hereby pledge my vote to Edward
    Wahoo!!!
    That’s 1.
    This is easier than I thought….don’t know what Gephardt was grumbling about….

  42. 🙂
    Well, it’s a little tougher than that, you can’t get over the top with just the burnt-toast crowd, you have to figure out how to win over the slightly-browned contigent without alienating voters like me.

  44. Oh yeah, and we don’t care about Vietnam and NEVER NEVER NEVER want to hear about it again. EVER.

    way to make friends and influence people…just because it was long over before you were born, doesn’t mean it’s not still resonating in the lives of many people who lived through it Skip.
    I suspect you’re being funny, but just in case…I have friends who lost their father in Vietnam…I tend to be a touch more reverent.

  45. Okay, that was a little overboard. The point still stands, though. Younger voters would prefer politicians talk about things that resonate in our own lives. Vietnam — and especially what a given politician may or may not have done during Vietnam — is not one of them. It’s ancient history.

  47. Yeah Thorley,
    Saw that image earlier…not quite sure what suppresses that voice inside some people’s head that should tell them they’re crossing the line…

  50. “Do these slightly-browned voters have any hot button issues, so to speak?”
    Why must you continue to divide us by race? Can’t we all, the whites, the wheats, the sourdoughs, join crusts and live in harmony?
    Not the pumpernickles, though. I’m sick of them stealing our jobs.

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