But they said nice things about McCain.

Or, Why Johnny can’t spend George’s Soft Money.

Also from the Weekly Standard’s David Tell comes an article about certain rulings about McCain-Feingold – and why it’s continuing to have the same effect on Democratic soft money fundraising as a .45 caliber hollowpoint bullet has on the average human spine:

(8) I’m relieved you said that about the “precise details”; my head started hurting two pages ago. What’s the bottom line on the Soros people and the $300 million they want to spend against President Bush? News accounts have largely obscured that bottom line. The final vote on February 18 was 4 to 2 for what’s generally been described as a “compromise” between the clampdown recommended by the FEC’s staff and the relatively laissez-faire alternative proposed by Bradley Smith. There was no such compromise, really. In the end, the FEC’s third Republican commissioner, joined by all three of his Democratic counterparts (who were voting against the interests of their party, it bears pointing out), embraced the entire, essential substance of the staff’s first draft. The commissioners’ only apparent changes were cosmetic editorial adjustments apparently intended to render the text less daunting for native English speakers. It was nice of them to try.

Translated into the quasi-vernacular:

* All public communications that “promote,” “support,” “attack,” or “oppose” any clearly identified candidate for federal office–say, for example, George W. Bush–whether or not the damn things “expressly advocate” his defeat, and no matter when they’re made during the political calendar, must be paid for with hard dollars only. No money from labor unions or corporations. And no checks for more than $5,000 from a billionaire. Who may only write one such check to America Coming Together for this purpose each year. The other $9,995,000 that billionaire has offered ACT are useless here.

* If such a communication as described above should happen to mention, in addition to the dastardly George W. Bush, some clearly identified candidate for nonfederal office, too–or should it merely add a nasty swipe at “Republicans” generally–well, sorry, that’ll only get you so far. Somewhere between half and three-quarters of the cost will still have to come from your hard-money accounts.

* Same goes for voter-registration and get-out-the-vote initiatives. (Incidentally, judging from their most recent FEC and IRS disclosure filings, ACT and the other anti-Bush 527s haven’t got any hard money to speak of at the moment. They’ll have to go raise it from scratch, competing for donors directly with the Democratic national party committees–and with the Democratic party’s presumptive presidential nominee. Neither those committees nor that nominee will be happy about it.)

* Oh, almost forgot. Only federally regulated contributions–in amounts no larger than $5,000 per donor, per year–may be requested in fundraising appeals that mention specific candidates for federal office “in a manner that conveys” an intention to use the money in support or opposition to those candidates. So you know how when you guys were up in Southampton last summer, and you were talking to Mr. Soros about what you wanted to do to defeat George Bush, and he told you he wanted to give you $10 million? It looks like when you started taking that money, it might have been illegal. And though the commission declines to get into such a hypothetical, it looks like Soros’s giving you the money might have been illegal, too. The relevant criminal penalties are outlined in Title 2 of the U.S. Code: “Any person who knowingly and willfully commits a violation of any provision of this Act which involves the making, receiving, or reporting of any contribution, donation or expenditure . . . aggregating $25,000 or more during a calendar year shall be fined under Title 18, United States Code, or imprisoned for not more than 5 years, or both.” There’s probably wiggle room in that “knowingly and willfully” part. Good luck.

* Also, you know how, right at this very moment, on the America Coming Together website, there’s that section labeled “Donate,” which offers a person the chance to respond, “Yes, I am committed to kicking George W. Bush out of the White House”? And then there are some instructions about how to send in money? And then way at the bottom, in smaller type, there’s a notice that indicates how contributions in excess of $5,000 per year “will be placed in the America Coming Together non-federal account”? Whaddya think? Maybe that’s illegal, too? See above.

The rest of the article is equally good, I think – campaign finance law looks like the sort of thing that should really default to the Mythos Lore skill, but Tell gives trying to explain it a good shot – and leaves me shaking my head. I mean, what did McCain need to do, wave a sign around saying I’m Going To Screw Over The Democrats, or something?

Anyway, check it out.