My girlfriend felt the need this evening to read an article aloud about weddings. I can’t imagine why; we’ve only being going out for seven years and living together for two. Besides, I’m sure that all couples start joint savings accounts for the specific purpose of saving up for the down payment on a house. I’d continue in this vein, but considering that the wedding article in question was written by Dave Barry*, I’d just be deluding myself on two levels, not one: Shotgun Wedding (Brides, a word of advice: Firearms might not be the best party favors)
(pause)
Jeebus, there’s an embarrassment of riches here. A taste:
Well, guess what? According to the Internet — and if we can’t trust the Internet, who the hell can we trust? — birds do not explode from eating rice. Avocados, yes; that is exactly why we do not throw avocados at the bride and groom. But rice is fine, except of course for the carbohydrates.
There’s also some stuff about guns and deranged bull monarch butterflies, although unfortunately not at the same time.
Moe
*Unintentionally funny moment of the Blogosphere #5900023617: I came across a guy somewhere (don’t remember where, alas) who rather ponderously declared that so-and-so was the “thinking man’s Dave Barry”.
(pause)
Umm, yeah, that would still be like, you know, Dave Barry, man.