I’ve been refereeing posts to weed out anti-Muslim messages on the blogosphere for what feels likes centuries now. Most folks who read my comments already know my primary motivation for such relentless defense (my partner is Muslim), but I’ve never stopped to think much about why (other than presumed fear) many were so quick to reject my assertions that an overwhelming majority of Muslims are as horrified by the actions of a small few as they are, and that this same majority would welcome our friendship, should they believe we were sincere in offering it.
I never stopped to think why that didn’t resonate with them until I read this passage in a post (hat tip to constant reader wilfred) on This Modern World. There’s a really excellent assessment of my greatest fear about the conflict we’re in the midst of (losing sight of who we are), but this following passage clarified something for me with regards to my debates with people about the hearts and minds of Muslims. The writer is an American in Alexandria, Egypt:
An hour earlier I was accosted by a tall and angry fellow shouting “I hate America!” over and over, in a tone half-accusing, half-demanding-an-explanation. But he wasn’t a mugger or anything; actually, he was well-dressed and clean-shaven and looked more like an accountant out for a stroll who was just pissed off about the news and took it out on the white guy. I nodded and gestured for him to join me as I was walking, letting him vent. Which he did. (Hoo-boy.) I think he assumed I was German, since that’s the language we wound up butchering the most for a while. I didn’t stop him for a good stretch. When it was my turn, I struggled with the words, so I eventually pointed at the sole of my shoe (the dirtiest part of the body) while saying the word “Bush,” then mentioned Iraq and mimed my own broken heart. (Both of these gestures were entirely accurate, I think.) And then, feeling safer once he understood I wasn’t his enemy, I reaffirmed that I was an American.
You should have seen this guy’s face — a blank look for a moment, a cursor while his hard drive spun… and then the anger was completely gone, replaced with curiosity and a little, I dunno… hope, even. It was apparently news to him — good news — that Americans don’t all support Bush, and all he wanted to know was how many more of us there were. (Yes, the media there sucks even worse than it does here.) Oh, man. Suddenly he didn’t hate “America” anymore. He certainly didn’t hate me. He freakin’ wanted to buy me a meal, people, just to hear more.
I’ve written repeatedly that the most surefire way to get moderate Muslims to join forces with the terrorists is to turn this conflict in to a religious war or an all-encompassing “Us vs. Them” clash of cultures, rather than focussing it on those who commit the atrocities. Folks who don’t actually hate “America” need very little in the way of signs of reassurance from us that we don’t hate them to show their true colors, like this gentleman in Alexandria. Before this encounter, the Egyptian was caught up in the only rhetoric/sense of things he had that most closely matched his sense of helplessness and frustration, the rhetoric of anti-Americanism he heard from others. It wasn’t exactly how he felt, but he had no competing rhetoric or sense of things with which to express his heartbreak. Once the American showed him we are not all that different, he seemed suddenly hopeful.
This makes me wonder if perhaps this explains why many folks refuse to abandon their angry rhetoric against Muslims. Like this Eygptian, they have only had the rhetoric that most closely matches their sense of anger and fear with which to express themselves. It may not express exactly how they feel, but without a convincing, competitive rhetoric/reality, they’re left with only the first option.
President Bush, to his credit, has attempted to provide a calm, balanced rhetoric with regards to nonviolent Muslims. I’m often quite surprised by conservatives, however, who support his actions in response to 9/11, but reject his rhetoric here. Perhaps they’re still waiting to meet a smart, patient person who will let them vent about their anger and fears, finding that all important, convincing common ground, before that person reveals him/herself to be Muslim. If these “anti-Muslim” folks can do this, they may too find hope where once there was only anger and fear.
Great post. Fear of the Other seems to dissipate when folks get close enough to see that they aren’t so different afterall.
At least, that’s the hope.
if you’re gay you know that’s true. how many times in our lives have we all met someone who hadn’t known gay people and after they meet you it’s there right in their eyes “oh, you’re what gay is” and you can see they aren’t scared anymore, in fact many times they are delighted.
that’s also why you meet many gay people who have ‘best little boy in the world’ syndrome. they spend so much energy trying to prove to the world that they aren’t bad that they don’t get to live an authentic life and experience their own emotions, they are trying so hard for validation. those folks and the ‘marie-antionette’ contingent make up most of what i’ve seen of the Log Cabin ilk.
great post! i am french and well, lets say i have seen many such misunderstandings (to be polite) on various blogs on my country. Not that people in france dont do the same error about your president or american people…
i totally agree with what you said and thats why i prefer reading blogs with people with different opinions rather than blogs where everybody has the same point of view. Whether on the left or on the rigth, thos blogs all too often turn into hate fests
I remember when I’d go to a resturant in Switzerland with a group of Swiss, Italians, South Americans and others and we would all trash the Germans. Course, if there were Germans is the party we would turn our guns on the French or the English. I always figured it to be just an exercise in discovering national character, one’s own and others. Not entirely innocent (guilty pleasures are the best) but safe.
I miss those times when discussions here turn to Muslims, the French, or even Americans of a different race, religion or political persuasion. The effort turns less on knocking down or building stereotypes (or rather, sweeping generalizations that inform but can’t possibly be true of an individual) than on justifying one’s own poor intentions and evil intent. I can no longer enjoy a good anti-French joke or discuss my good and bad impressions of the Palestinians I met in Israel lest someone use it to justify aggression.
“so I eventually pointed at the sole of my shoe (the dirtiest part of the body) while saying the word “Bush,” then mentioned Iraq and mimed my own broken heart. ”
I find your excerpt to be quite sad and this guy representing America in Egypt to be pathetic.
How disrespectful can someone be? It saddens me that there are Americans out there representing our country in this manner.
It saddens me that he would rather insult Bush than focus on the millions of Muslims who have been freed from the burden of Hussein’s and the Taliban’s tyranny.
Again, revolting…
Blue,
I knew someone would focus on his dislike of Bush as a way to dismiss the whole point here. I didn’t think it would be you though. If I could have edited his original text to include a less offensive example, I would have.
I realize there’s a problem in his example. I realize that “Bush” begins to represent all that’s negative about our efforts and none of what’s positive (or justified) about our efforts and that’s unfair to the President.
But if you choose to focus on that, it’s a loss for you.
Don’t be so defensive on this point. “Bush” is simply shorthand. My guess is even the Egyptian would walk away from a meeting with the President feeling he had misjudged him, at least as a person.
On the other hand, you need to understand that many Americans are disgusted with the choices Bush has made. They are certainly entitled to share those opinions.
How dare someone actually not like our President, and go so far as to tell a foreigner about it? Hang him!
Similar story: visiting Amman in Jordan in 1993, I ended up with an ex-PLO taxi driver, who liked Bush Senior a lot, despite Gulf War I, because Bush Senior had tried to stop Israeli settlements in the West Bank by threatening to withdraw loan guarantees.
He also said he’d sign a form recognising Israel if he could see Jerusalem one last time. Sad.
Hey, free expression of honest opinions stops at the border, pal! In a foreign land you’re a representative of America, and there is no greater way to represent the freedom that makes America great, than to censor your opinions and exhibit unconditional loyalty.
I agree with your point, Edward, and, presumeably, you have noticed that you haven’t heard a lot of the anti-Muslim rhetoric from me. I solemnly believe that there is a severe problem in the Muslim world although it’s not a problem with all Muslims but it’s a problem that Muslims are best equipped to deal with. It can’t be dealt with with horror, shock, and sense of injury alone. And dealing with it can’t be postponed indefinitely.
And, sidereal, I agree with you implication that one of America’s greatest strengths is our ability to self-criticize. My own experience after living overseas and working with people from lots of countries is that it’s not a universal quality. I assume you’ve heard the old Soviet-era joke:
American: Everyone in America has the right to criticize our President.
Russian: Same here. Every Russian has the right to criticize your President.
What, you saw through my sarcasm?
The best capper on the story, of course, would be if the narrator had a chance to explain to the Egyptian that he could express those same opinions publicly at home in America and no one would feed him into a wood-chipper, because America is a great country.
The confused freepers would self-satisfyingly joke about it, naturally, and someone on LGF might photoshop themselves doing it. But it’s very unlikely it’d actually happen.