We join our young hero right after his father’s assassination, when the Greek world is still cautiously sizing him up, looking for signs the young king may be vulnerable. He’s touring Corinth.
From Alexander the Great by Lewis V. Cummings (Grove Press, New York, 1940-1968, pg. 89):
To him with due homage came soldiers, statesmen, the great, the near-great, and the sycophantic would-be-great of all Hellas. But one day, as Alexander was walking through the market-place, he noticed an old man sitting silently upon the ground in front of a great cask. On inquiring who he was, the king was told this was Diogenes, the apostle of poverty, of self-sufficiency, the exponent of the art of doing without. Alexander, surrounded by his glittering suite, walked up to him. Diogenes ignored him. Presently, the king ventured to introduce himself. "I am Alexander," he said. "I am Diogenes the Cynic," was the reply. Alexander waited, but Diogenes was silent. The conversation had bogged down. Presently Alexander renewed it, asking Diogenes if there was anything he wanted of him. "Yes," came the reply: "Stand out of my sunlight." Alexander marveled, but upon a moment’s reflection perceived the worth of the man. "By Zeus," he said, "if I were not Alexander, I would be Diogenes."
Now when I first read that I had two thoughts. First and foremost: "You go Diogenes! You tell that king what’s what." Secondly, "of course it’s easy to say if he were not Alexander he’d be Diogenes because he is Alexander. Those of us who are not Alexander don’t have that option. We could resort to cynicism as a second-best sour-grapes sort of consolation, but in our hearts we would really have preferred to be Alexander."
And then I walked away from my book and did something else for a while. Folded socks or something, when: Ding! The goddess Epiphany struck me on the head.
Even if the old cynic were not Diogenes, he would still rather not be Alexander.
Not on topic, but I wonder who started calling Alexander “Alexander the Great”. Him? A close friend? His PR company?
His article in Wikipedia does make it sound like he had some pretty good PR, even during his lifetime:
I’ve been trying to get the family to append my name with “the Great”, but I’m not making much headway.
The problem is that “double-plus-ungood the Great” doesn’t really roll off the tongue, y’know? Maybe you should go for something less self-contradictory like “double-plus-ungood the Underappreciated”.
Well, they don’t call me DPU, they use the name of my blogless secret alter-ego.
However Double-Plus-Ungood the Good has a nice ring to it. Or possibly Double-Plus-Good the Pretty Good.
Speaking of Greek philosphers getting pissed off at people in their rays, wasn’t there another philospher who said the same thing to a soldier, and was killed on the spot? I’ve been trying to remember who that was, and am coming up dry.
That was Archimedes who was killed by a Roman soldier after the seige of Syracuse. I am now reminded that some British statesman suggested that England should be considered as the Greeks to the American Romans…
That was Archimedes who was killed by a Roman soldier after the seige of Syracuse.
See Terry Pratchett’s Small Gods for an alternate take on this and Diogenenes’ story…
By way of semi-on topicness, if you’re interested in a good SF retelling of the story of Alexander, with special attention to PR and the idea of history being told by the winners, I can’t recommend Fitzpatrick’s War highly enough.