Tonight, for no apparent reason, I went to In-N-Out Burger. It is the burger chain with excellent burgers and nothing else. It isn’t that the rest of their food is bad–they literally have no other options. I’ve always known that my roommate had trouble making decisions. He is the one that makes the waiter come back and ask if we need a few more minutes at least twice every time we go out. But In-N-Out is different. Their food menu consists of choosing how many patties you want, whether or not you want french fries, and whether or not you want a soda or a milkshake. So his problem with decisions became very apparent when he had to wait a minute when the clerk asked him what he wanted. I was already in that hypo-glycemic stage where everything will set you off if you don’t get food. I had to take a deep breath not to say: "You always get a double-double!" But realizing it was just that my discretionary man was hungry, I decided not to say anything.
As we were eating, I looked around at the couples dining for Valentine’s Day. In order to take your partner to In-N-Out for Valentine’s Day you either have to be extremely secure in your relationship or extremely stupid. There were examples of each and one example where I think both concepts may have been in play. The strangest sight–and that which prompted me to write this post–was the late teenage couple I saw in line as I was about to leave. They were standing next to each other talking on the phone. At first I speculated that they were brother and sister, but then they started hugging each other tightly and stroking each other’s lips. Not so odd, I bet you think! But they were pretty much making out with each other while still on their cell phones. At that point I went outside, my roommates dog pleaded for food with his eyes, and we drove home.
What would be really sad would be if they were talking to each other on their cell phones… 😉
“it was just that my discretionary man was hungry”
?
With you on the hypoglycemia snarliness. My fiancee doesn’t much believe in lunch and when it gets around to lunch time and I want to have lunch and ask her what we’re doing for lunch, she says, with an eye-roll, Not lunch again.
Sorry, the few times I have gotten drunk, I don’t seem wobbly, but I say things I would never normally say. One of my friends said that I didn’t seem drunk, it must have just been the discretionary man inside my head that was drunk (where is Yglesias with the philosophical analysis when we need him?). I sort of riffed on that….
Valentine’s day. Hmmph. Whenever I’m single, I spend the 14th of February celebrating Saint Ursula and the Eleven Thousand Virgins instead.
Hmmph.
One of the few things I miss since my abandonment of eating the collected floor scrapings of the abattoirs of America is the Dick’s burger, which differs from the In n Out burger only in its total superiority in every respect. And don’t even come in here talking about White Castle.
The shakes are fantastic too, but nobody with any self respect is going to walk up to a Dick’s counter and just order a shake. I pine.
Mmmmmmmmmmm…In-N-Out. God I miss good burgers.
For an unflattering view of what is evidently a great burger place, look at the pictures of some dolt ordering and eating a 20×20 In-N-Out burger (that’s 20 patties and 20 cheese slices).
The 20×20 Expedition
But they reportedly are good burgers — due to lack of proximity I’ve never had one. They claim to have no freezers on premises, ensuring that the food is fresh and definitely not frozen.
Manhattan now has a place called Blue 9 Burger that tries to emulate In-N-Out. It’s pretty good.
Valentine’s Day happens to be my birthday as well. I’ll confirm that, if you’re lonely for love on Valentine’s day, the situation doesn’t improve with the knowledge that you’re also a year older.
(That said, this Valentine’s day was a-OK.)
Happy birthday, Von! Many happy returns of the day.
I just knew you were the Blogger Of Love, von. Hope it was a good day for you.
Happy Birthday Von! One of my best friends has a V-Day B-Day and it always seemed to me to be a doubly good day to be born.
Riffle, i’ll check out Blue 9, i’ve passed by there many times but now i’ll check it out.
In order to take your partner to In-N-Out for Valentine’s Day you either have to be extremely secure in your relationship or extremely stupid.
made me laugh out loud!
In-n-Out does, in fact, have a number of options. You just gotta know how to ask.
HB2U Von.
Having your Bday on Vday can’t be all bad. It must take some of the pressure off being appropriately romantic, no? Not that I have anything against romance…but when I left work last night and headed over to the pharmacy to buy a card but saw lines of dozens of sheepish looking men with arms full of whatever item the store had left with hearts or flowers on it, I realized this day was not about me and my true love…we can make other days about that. Vday is about commerce.
No time for love, Doctor Jones!
Vday is about commerce.
Von, happy birthday, maybe you should move to Japan
We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day either, Edward; we make our own romance.
I did feed the meme that one has to drop a large wad of cash on the engagement ring. I feel like I’ve been suckered, but she still LOVES it after 12 years of marriage.
I feel like I’ve been suckered, but she still LOVES it after 12 years of marriage.
Yeah, I don’t get that. I never wear jewelry (not even a watch), but I know that bling bling really makes an impact with many otherwise nonmaterial people. It has for millenia as well, so there must be something to it.
I think it’s more because I designed it, than that it’s flashy.
I think it’s more because I designed it,
color me impressed!
e
monster style?
Don’t be too impressed, Edward. It’s not exactly a huge departure from your run-of-the-mill engagement ring. Just a carat and three quarters of Ceylon sapphire, marquis-cut, platinum prongs, and a rather more modest triangular diamond on either side.
Yesterday, my fiancee asked me if I wanted to do anything in particular for Valentine’s Day. My response was something along the lines of, “I don’t really give a shit.”
She’s been with me two and a half years now, and she knew what I meant, because she feels much the same way about the holiday–she asked the question because it’s practically required, ingrained even.
I’ve gotten to the point where holidays which exist primarily to justify commercialism in excess–and that’s most of them, these days–just annoy me. Moreso because you’re frequently considered to be a grade-A asshat if you don’t observe them around people who do. V-Day is possibly one of the more obnoxious of these holidays. Think about the message it sends: “Be romantic today.” “Do something nice for your partner today.” What about the rest of the year? I know that’s not explicit or intentional, but I do wonder about the unconscious effect of setting aside /one day a year/ to treat the one you love the way you should always treat them.
So I love my Jess. Because she, like me, understands that for us, every day is Valentine’s Day.
I’m busy busy busy these days, but just a quick Valentine’s nugget:
We had a guy from Poland working for us up until recently whose English was pretty good (if heavily accented) but whose understanding of American culture, colloquialisms, etc., was more limited. He sent an email to one of his former team members here yesterday that closed with this lovely thought:
I’m not sure if Jenny emailed him back to explain why this wasn’t such a good abbreviation to use.
Heh. Hehe. Same thing happens when a bunch of college students take amplifier circuit design and behold the symbol for drain voltage.
he
oops!
slarti, give yourself some credit. i’ve never heard of someone designing the engagement ring they gave to their wife, that’s pretty impressive and i’m sure it made it even more special to your wife.
Thanks, wilfred. I was simply pointing out that when Edward says “designed”, he might have something a little more creative in mind than what I came up with. Still, I have no doubt that it’s what continues to make it a special thing.
I’m impressed for the same reasons wilfred is impressed Slarti. I too have no doubt that’s why your wife still treasures it…well done, you romantic you!
Not to be contrarian, but I like Valentine’s Day. Yes, I know it is nothing more than a contrivance by commercial interests. More importantly, I get that there is something amiss when we have to be reminded to be romantic and make our partner feel special. But, you know what? Sometimes it doesn’t hurt to get a reminder like that, even if it is contrived, or motivated by commerce.
There are a lot of things that we should be focused on, and many ways our relationships ought to be, but it is devilishly easy to slip into routines, away from the freshness of early love and into the cliches of work, married life and child-rearing. The rituals of sex and love become routine devotionals, thoughtless flips of the thumb on a rosary, rather than pedestal moments of revelation.
Look, I love my family, and I treasure my wife, and we do try to make each other feel special, but sometimes we forget – sometimes we feel more like co-workers in a day care center than a passionate, romantic couple. It happens. But I walked into my house yesterday, and my living room was a red twilight of candles, and smelled of fresh flowers, and the kid wasn’t around, and I didn’t ask where she was, or what my wife had done to make it all happen, and we ate dinner, and drank wine, and it was awesome.
I love Valentine’s Day, and I don’t care what a contrived fraud it is, or what a stooge that makes me. So there.
Well said, st.
I hope you enjoy a similarly awesome time with your wife every year. Seriously. Your story cheered me up greatly.
st: Yes, I know it is nothing more than a contrivance by commercial interests.
If that’s all you let it be, yes.
But as your story shows, it can be so much more.
To share a little; There is a woman who works near where I work, who I see around a fair bit: a familar face to say hello to, really… and I’d got to like her. Only, there’s a problem – how do you break the romance barrier? You can’t say “how about meeting for a coffee” when you are both there to collect your office’s array of cappucinos. (Well, maybe you can. I can’t.)
So I took advantage of Valentine’s Day, and gave her a small heart-shaped box of chocolates and a card with an invite to go out to dinner. (And my phone number.)
I got a phone call from her a little later on, thanking me for the chocolates and letting me know she was already seeing someone… (yes, another woman: my gaydar wasn’t that wrong) but by her tone of voice, I made her day!
Speaking of holidays that fall on birthdays, I just want y’all to know that Mary LeTourneau and Villi Fuualau are going to be married on my birthday, April 16.
Now. Ain’t *that* romantic??
(PS: FWIW, and at odds with everyone else in the civilized world, I think those two might actually really love each other. Granted, they’re dumber than a box of rocks and probably shouldn’t be entrusted with the care of a hermit crab, much less 2 children, but they have outlasted his adolescence and voice change, not to mention her prison sentence and 40th Birthday. And that should count for something.)
happy birthday Von, and many happy returns!
Slarti: consider me impressed too. Yes, that would make the ring very special indeed.
st & Jes: good for you, indeed, sometimes days like this offer an opportunity 😉
In the Netherlands it is no great thing (yet). At toddlerschool they make things for mummy, so I got a sweety-heart from my 2 year old. Next year he’ll probabely react like my oldest did at three: “But it says it is for the sweetest person.. and you always tell me that I am the sweetest…” 😉
Edward; glad to see you back safe
well, if Slarti. can fish for compliments, so can i.
i, too, designed my wife’s engagement and wedding rings. (as the crow said in the film version of “The Secret of NIMH”: “ooh, sparkly!”)
AND i made dinner last night. (shrimp bisque and homemade blini with two kinds of caviar.)
married 11 years in April. no kids, two dogs.
(i think the term most commonly applied to my marital relationship is “whipped”).
cheers,
Francis
A little late to the party but for those who find VDay a touch underwhelming, I commend to you the story of St Valentine:
Valentine was a holy priest in Rome, who, with St. Marius and his family, assisted the martyrs in the persecution under Claudius II. He was apprehended, and sent by the emperor to the prefect of Rome, who, on finding all his promises to make him renounce his faith in effectual, commended him to be beaten with clubs, and afterwards, to be beheaded…
i, too, designed my wife’s engagement and wedding rings.
Then kudo’s for you too ! 😉
If I want my (beloved) husband to even *buy* me anything I have to plan time in his agenda ’cause he forgets ;-).
Since I am not really into juwels (I loose them – and thus prefer electronics or books or software 😉 ) I don’t mind. I knew what I got into when we got married 10 years and 3 kids ago.
Love is a path to the heart that knows its own way.