Contest

51 thoughts on “Contest”

1. ABC’s diversity program takes wing.
   “First off, we’re going to have to have all the desks lowered.”
   “I knew they were drilling here in ANWAR, but did they have to cubicle it too?”

2. rilkefan: should I have mentioned in the post that they are walking through an airport metal detector?

3. “These aren’t the robopenguins you’re looking for…”

4. When do we get our shoes back?

5. Wren: 😉
   My entry: “I told you it was a mistake to let our wings become vestigial!

6. “rilkefan: should I have mentioned in the post that they are walking through an airport metal detector?”
   Depends on whether your purpose was to make me look dumb.
   Do they make pilots etc go through the detectors? If not, that could be the basis of a caption.

7. What do you mean “we’re on the ‘no-fly’ list”?

8. “Every time I fly I have to explain, again, that it’s someone else named ‘Fjordland Crested Penguin’ who joined a radical Islamist group in Chicago …’

9. And now the alarm goes off as usual, and now they’re going to wand me. Damn the ornithologist that banded me.

10. Returning from their pilgrimage to Rome, American nuns realize that no one escapes the additional post 9/11 scrutiny.

11. Two well-informed voters exit the polling booth

12. Penguins have no WMD and were not involved in 9/11. (credit to Edward)

13. “I told you flying was unnatural for birds. Next time we swim.”

14. “Explosives in my shoes?”
    “Think our FBI ID’s will get us past with the Colt 45s?”
    “wait a minute, the Herron Island Pengiun doesn’t have a dorsal stripe of that kind, nobody move!!!”
    “Sure, here we get through no problem, but DisneyLand, now those guys know ride security…”

15. Just look natural and no one will notice…

16. “Nuns on the run!”

17. A glimpse at how far modern migration has advanced.
    “Hurry! If we make this flight we are sure to make it into the final leg of the Amazing Race.”

18. –What do you mean “we’re on the ‘no-fly’ list”?–
    For the win.

19. Passenger in line 1: Hay, you know what the hold up is up there?
    Passenger in line 2: Yea, a couple of penguins are going thru the metal detector.
    Passenger 1: No….really….what’s the hold up?

20. 1. “Did you notice the leopard seal breezed through without even a shoe check. Remind me to alert Michelle.”
    2. “Finally, Shackleton gets re-provisioned!”
    3. “Everyone has to do it. Stop your blubbering!”
    Sorry.

21. You got enough dirt to bring him down, Barbara? Are penquins water proof, Nancy?

22. Mr. Popper’s attorneys return home after unsuccessfully attempting to meet with their client at Guantanamo.

23. Air travel regains lost elegance as a return to formal dress standards takes hold among airline passengers.

24. Are we really the only Linux users at TSA?

25. “Oh no. Not another ‘fish out of water’ shoot. Ha ha. Very funny. Ack. This is friggin humiliating.”

26. if you guys can both wear chinos, why can’t we wear the same outfit too?

27. Oh bother! All I told the ticket agent was “I’ve got the krill,” not “I’ve got to kill!”

28. On the Road to Anheuser Busch: SeaWorld’s Pat and Penny visit Denver
    Penny: I’m not walking through that thing. It looks like the entrance to the shark exhibit.
    Pat: How many times do I have to tell you, we’re not in San Diego. It’s perfectly safe.
    Penny: Oh? Then why are all those humans lined up and taking off their clothes? Because we don’t want the sharks to choke on them, that’s why.
    Pat: Look – honey –
    Penny: ‘It’s perfectly safe, Penny’ – you always say that. Remember when we lived in Antartica? There were these humans with a big box? ‘Look,’ you said. ‘They have fish,’ you said. ‘It’s perfectly safe,’ you said.
    Pat: And I was right. Or do you want to go back to Antartica and dodging killer whales? ‘Live free and die’ makes a great slogan. Actual lifestyle? – not so much.
    Penny: Well –
    Pat: You love SeaWorld. You love making humans laugh. Don’t say you don’t.
    Penny: So…why are we here again?
    Pat: We’re visiting the beer company that owns SeaWorld.
    Penny: Beer company – ?
    Pat: You know. Public relations. Meet and greet. Look cute, do a few tricks, keep the owners happy.
    Penny: Not so different –
    Pat: – from our usual routine, no.
    Penny: Just in a beer hall.
    Pat: Well, I’m not sure – I don’t think –
    Penny: You’ve seen what humans are like when they’ve had just one or two, and now we’re going to a beer hall?
    Pat: Our trainers will be with us. It’s perfectly s- (*coughs*) – safe.
    Penny: Sure. Sure, sweetie. Until they decide to ride around on those giant horses –
    Pat: What giant horses?
    Penny: -or maybe they’ll decide to put the cute penguins on the giant horses, won’t that be fun.
    Pat: Honey, that’s a different beer company.

29. CaseyL – excellent.

30. Yes, yes, I know it looks just like a tuxedo.
    Yes, the Lord does have a pretty funny sense of humor.
    Yes, I’m sure the “jacket” won’t come off.
    Well, I didn’t mean to sound sarcastic.
    Sarcastic. It means Expressing or expressive of ridicule that wounds.
    Yes, that is a pretty color, bloggers use it to denote a link that you can follow to obtain proof that the information I’ve given you is true.
    No, my beak is not sharp enough for that. I said B-like boy- logger. Blogger.
    Why yes, I do write for Obsidian Wings on occasion.
    The line for Texas? But I don’t want to go to…KATHERINE, help!!!!

31. We were somewhere around Denver in the airport when the drugs began to take hold……..

32. We were somewhere around Denver in the airport when the drugs began to take hold……..

33. the fact that camber reposted makes it . . . so much better.

34. Yes, I’m sure you’ll fit in the overhead bin, now quit dawdling.

35. Pat: Honey, that’s a different beer company.

    Eh? What’s a different beer company?

36. “Feathers were ruffled as tighter security screening aimed at identifying Militant Molting Extremists were activated today.”

37. Slart – The Budweiser Clydesdales 🙂

38. What’s a different beer company?

    The Budweiser Clydesdales
    Budweiser is a brand owned by Anheuser-Busch. At least in America, anyway — see this article for more than you ever wanted to know about “budweiser” beer.

39. And…Anheuser-Busch has their Clydesdales on display at Sea World, so I’m a little confused as to what the different beer company is supposed to be all about.

40. Oh, all right; I was wrong; they’re the same company; I didn’t know that.
    Sheesh.

41. Heh. I didn’t know that you didn’t know that. Hence, my confusion.

42. Heh. I didn’t know that you didn’t know that. Hence, my confusion.
    Yeah, I thought it was part of the joke, that Pat wasn’t that bright.

43. Well, I feel like even more of a nudnik since I thought AB *did* have the Clydesdales and googled “clydesdales beer” just to be sure, and it came up Budweiser, and I had no idea AB owned Budweiser, so I thought: Ok, different company.
    The dialog wouldn’t have been much different. Just Pat’s bit wouldn’t have been there.

44. Just Pat’s bit wouldn’t have been there.

    So, a monologue?
    :/

45. But… Denver… wouldn’t that be Coors?

46. Pat’s last bit. Would have been either not there or different.

47. So CaseyL is now sadder budweiser?

48. “sadder budweiser”
    Please see the posting rules about puns and the Geneva Conventions.

49. “I hope it doesn’t beep. I don’t want to take off my flippers.”

50. “I had no idea there was an egg on my foot. I don’t recall leaving it there. Say, I’m not in trouble, am I?”

51. “Mohammed bin al Shibh! Take care that your that your waddle not raise the suspicions of the Great Devil!”

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