In A World Beyond Parody…

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by hilzoy

From AFP (h/t Bilerico):

“Santas in Australia’s largest city have been told not to use Father Christmas’s traditional “ho ho ho” greeting because it may be offensive to women, it was reported Thursday.

Sydney’s Santa Clauses have instead been instructed to say “ha ha ha” instead, the Daily Telegraph reported.

One disgruntled Santa told the newspaper a recruitment firm warned him not to use “ho ho ho” because it could frighten children and was too close to “ho”, a US slang term for prostitute.”

Look: it would be one thing if there were corpulent men in red suits wandering around Australia saying “Bitch bitch bitch!” (On reflection, there probably are.) But this is ridiculous.

35 thoughts on “In A World Beyond Parody…”

  1. Because, as we all know, “ho ho ho” is just patriarchy speech for “c*nt c*nt c*nt”, which, of course, junior hears as “death to santa!!!!!”, thus frightening him/her.
    Also, is this part of the war on Christmas?

  8. Soooo, I’m assuming the next step is to ban all ho-ho’s and hoes from being sold in Australia as well? It makes just as much sense, right?
    Now that I think about it, it is funny that saying it aloud once has one meaning, repeated twice has another, and repeated three times has a third. Is there any other sound like that?

  9. “Yeah” means yes.
    “Yeah, yeah” means no.
    “Yeah, yeah, yeah” means you’re a Beatle.
    And put me down for “debunked by the weekend”.

  10. A year from now, this antipodean ridiculosity will have been forgotten by everyone. Everyone outside the wingnut universe, whose sad denizens will still be gibbering on about this outrage, with a few folkloric refinements:
    * relocation to a suburb in the U.S.
    * sponsorship by the ACLU
    * involvement of terrorists, with beards on their chins white as the snow

  11. “In fact I’m not sure our language has a word adequate to describe how stupid that is if true.”
    But LizardBreath already demonstrated it is not true.
    “Soooo, I’m assuming the next step is to ban all ho-ho’s and hoes from being sold in Australia as well?”
    Yes, but LizardBreath already demonstrated that it is not true.
    “And put me down for ‘debunked by the weekend’.”
    Yes, but LizardBreath already pointed out that it was debunked.
    Maybe this needs to be repeated several more times, more slowly? Or WTF, people should quit taking stupid pills.

  13. Down at the community theatre where I am involved in a production currently, it was decided that a better change for santa would be a peg-leg, a tricorner hat, and a hook hand, which would provide the added incentive of allowing him to proclaim “Arr! Arr! Arrrrrrrr!”. As you can imagine, we all very much enjoy International Talk Like A Pirate Day

  16. LizardBreath’s link doesn’t debunk it. It confirms it for Australia and notes that it isn’t holding in New Zealand.

  20. McMartin: “LizardBreath’s link doesn’t debunk it. It confirms it for Australia and notes that it isn’t holding in New Zealand.”
    Link:

    […] Westaff Australia’s national manager Glen Jansz told Adelaide’s Sunday Mail claims there were concerns the term “ho” could be offensive were false….”

    It wouldn’t have been much of a story if that were in the first story.
    “Temp agency has Santas using ‘ha’ instead of ‘ho’ due to concerns about loudness” wouldn’t have anyone going on about political correctness, and how ridiculous it can get: that’s the story angle getting the attention, if you haven’t noticed.
    And it turns out to be another phony story. Which is worth noticing, since these sorts of stories usually are, when looked at closely.

  21. Actually, when I read this, the first thing I thought was: Hmm, Daily Telegraph story – wonder if it’s actually true? The Daily Telegraph is the most reliable of the UK’s right-wing newspapers, but “most reliable” doesn’t mean “can be counted upon never to report a phony story that supports Christian claims that they’re being ‘persecuted'”.
    (To be fair to the DT, this is not a story that actually matters all that much – it probably came across someone’s desk as a newsy snippet that looked like too much fun to factcheck.)

  22. I propose Howdy, howdy, howdy! 😉
    Just in theory ha ha ha would be a bad replacement anyway because the way it is usually used is that of “oh yeah, that is very funny.” implying that it’s definitely not.
    I agree though that for the fundies it won’t matter, whether the story is true or bogus. Those guys take “The Onion” for real, if there is a chance for outrage.

  23. I propose “tee-hee” as a good, non-scary replacement for “Ho ho ho!” Somewhere down the road there would need to be a book or movie or Broadway musical about The Giggling Santas of Sydney.

  26. A 3 stooges style “Nuyck, nuyck, nuyck” strikes me as better. You can shout “Ha!” just as easily as “Ho!”, but I challenge you to shout “Nuyck!” at a frightenly high volume…

  27. but I challenge you to shout “Nuyck!” at a frightenly high volume…
    Anyone who can do that should definitely start a band.

  28. Gary: The original Daily Telegraph article that was cited by AFP also exposes the false nature of this (non)story.
    Jes: The Telegraph in question is one of Rupert Murdoch’s infamous right wing tabloids from Down Under. The Sydney-based rag and its sister paper from Melbourne, the Herald Sun, are more akin to The Daily Mail than the UK Torygraph, ie, entirely unreliable (though my Aussie sweetie informs me that both the Sun and the Tele do make excellent bird cage liners).

  30. I’d like to propose “Mwa ha ha ha” as a possible substitute.
    When I have a chance I will draft a letter to the Australian government suggesting this.

  31. matttbastard: The Telegraph in question is one of Rupert Murdoch’s infamous right wing tabloids from Down Under.
    Serve me right for not clicking on the link! If I’d known it was Rupert Murdoch-owned, no question it’s a lie…

  32. Gary,
    You did not write the complete quote, which is this:
    “[…] Westaff Australia’s national manager Glen Jansz told Adelaide’s Sunday Mail claims there were concerns the term “ho” could be offensive were false…. BUT CONFIRMED THE EDICT HAD BEEN ISSUED.”
    In other words, it indeed is true, and when called on it, the management is backtracking with some unconvincing excuses .. a Santa screeching a belittling “ha ha ha” would certainly be more likely to confuse and frighten a child than the expected “ho’s”. Santa laughing at my child might even inspire a punch in the rosy red nose.

  34. You did not write the complete quote, which is this:
    “[…] Westaff Australia’s national manager Glen Jansz told Adelaide’s Sunday Mail claims there were concerns the term “ho” could be offensive were false…. BUT CONFIRMED THE EDICT HAD BEEN ISSUED.”

    Let’s try reading for content: “Kiwi Santas will get to say whatever they like when greeting children, even the now controversial ‘ho, ho, ho’.”
    Some “edict.”
    Secondly, to repeat for the nth time, “claims there were concerns the term ‘ho’ could be offensive were false.”
    If you want to claim that somehow there’s some other “it” that matters, you’ll have to torture English to attempt it, but I don’t think even water-boarding English will make it give that up.

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