Speak Now Larry, Or Forever Hold Your Peace

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by publius

Frickin’ Yglesias — I wanted to write this post today. Oh well, it’s very true and very funny:

This would be an opportune moment for Larry Johnson to release the “whitey” tape.

Larry Johnson deserves a lifetime wanker achievement award for his 2008 conduct. I think he’s now officially the biggest scumbag on the Internet, and there’s some stiff competition for that. Here’s an excerpt from the post that helped him win this prestigious award:

I learned over the weekend why the Republicans who have seen the tape of Michelle Obama ranting about “whitey” describe it as “STUNNING.” I have not seen it but I have heard from five separate sources who have spoken directly with people who have seen the tape.

Have a drink tomorrow Larry. Maybe two.

11 thoughts on “Speak Now Larry, Or Forever Hold Your Peace”

  1. This post freaked me out until I realized the Larry Johnson post you linked was from June. So, I get it now, but was scared initially.

  3. I have not seen it but I have heard from five separate sources who have spoken directly with people who have seen the tape.
    How could anyone who wrote a sentence like that even take himself seriously? He spoke with sources who spoke with other sources who described something they saw? Yeesh!

  4. Judging from news reports and the portrayal of villains in our popular entertainment, Americans are bedeviled by fantasies about terrorism. They seem to believe that terrorism is the greatest threat to the United States and that it is becoming more widespread and lethal. They are likely to think that the United States is the most popular target of terrorists. And they almost certainly have the impression that extremist Islamic groups cause most terrorism…. None of these beliefs are based in fact…. While terrorism is not vanquished, in a world where thousands of nuclear warheads are still aimed across the continents, terrorism is not the biggest security challenge confronting the United States, and it should not be portrayed that way.
    Larry the Soothsayer
    7/10/2001

  5. How could anyone who wrote a sentence like that even take himself seriously? He spoke with sources who spoke with other sources who described something they saw? Yeesh!
    It’s even funnier than that. Let’s look again:
    I have not seen it but I have heard from five separate sources who have spoken directly with people who have seen the tape.
    Hoe can five separate sources all be wrong? Perhaps because all of them got their information from the same liars.

  6. I spoke with five different sources who told me that Dick Cheney and Karl Rove confirmed the tape was stunning.

  7. Wow. Johnson being such a common name, I had simply assumed that Larry “Whitey tape” Johnson was a different person from Larry “Riding the white horse for Valerie Plame” Johnson. (I *still* get my Roger Simons confused. Say what you will about Victor Davis Hanson, but there’s only one of him…I think.) Checking out his site, he seems to full-tilt wingnutty. Did this emerge through an obsessional loyalty to Hillary’s candidacy or what?

  9. It might be a healthy exercise in self-criticism if someone did an internal audit of everything Larry Johnson contributed to Plamegate. Specifically, did he contribute anything that was (1) otherwise unavailable and (2) credible and useful?
    Also I think he is on drugs. It’s not crazy to go from supporting Clinton to supporting McCain, and it’s not entirely crazy for a McCain supporter (given the gamut that might have supported Mitt or Tancredo or whoever) to convince himself that Barack Obama is a dangerous radical. But to go from a to b all the way to c is, well, quite a journey.

  10. I’ve seen the “whitey” tape. It was also an interview with the A.P.I, in which the following question were asked:
    Q. Who was the the best Yankee pitcher in the Stengel era?
    Q. Which best describes your husband’s feet: narrow(A) or wide(E)?
    Q. Who was your favorite manager of the 1980s?
    Q. You’re telling your daughters a story about Clucky Chicken and Barky Dog. What would you call their friend the Goose?
    Q. How would you say “friend or foe” in Pig Latin?
    Q. Do you remember the robot from Get Smart?

  11. Larry certainly deserves the wanker crown.
    Then again, even with the various flavors of BS he has concocted, not even he claimed that he had caught a political opponent trying to have his preferred candidate assassinated
    Like this blog did.
    You know what would have been a great time to correct the claim that McCain tried to get Obama assassinated in Iraq? About 12 hours later when you found out he wasn’t going to Iraq when that conspiracy theory was well and truly shot.

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