by publius
It seems the Artist Formerly Known as YearlyKos will be in Austin next summer. Although “the man” apparently won’t let me have my own panel, consider this a save the date for an event “the man” doesn’t want you to see.
An even more prestigious panel – currently consisting of myself and Eric Martin – will debate one or more of the following issues at a nearby unaffiliated Austin bar:
Can Eric Martin Pronounce Ahmadinejad Correctly in Three Tries While Having Pretzels Thrown at His Face?
Libertarianism Without the Pesky “Liberty” – The Passion of the Instapundit
Why is Publius So Right About Everything All the Time?
Will Nominee Clinton Ignore My Old (Drug-Induced) Posts and Give Me a Job at the FCC?
Corporate sponsors are of course welcome. Afterwards, we’ll find some serious panel to heckle.
Feel free to propose your own panel titles as well. (I’ll update if I get any good ones).
You broke the internet, publius.
The only way to get to the comments screen is to click the trackback link. I think the hyphen in the title breaks the format.
As to the panels:
1) Will there be authenticated Iranians on hand to judge the accurateness of Eric’s pronunciation?
2) You live in a pre-9/11 world where “freedom” means “liberty.” Now “freedom” means “French!” The Senate canteen has spoken.
3) Right? That $100 I put on a McConnell loss because you said he’d never lose is starting look pretty good right about now.
4) So the FCC won’t let me be or let me be me so let me see, they tried to shut me down on MTV but it feels so empty without me.
I propose the panel:
Have you seen Kevin Spacey and Mike Huckabee in the same room? I haven’t. Suddenly this unknown no-name Southern governor bursts on the scene with him some serious Hollywood firepower while Spacey doesn’t seem to doing much of all. Coincidence? They said the same when Neil Armstrong “just happened” to be on the moon AT THE SAME TIME as Buzz Aldrin. So who’s laughing now? Who’s laughing now, Mrs. Rutcheton? Yeah, you could make fun of my uneven ears when you were all big elementary school lunch lady, but who’s getting the last laugh now, huh? HUH?!?!?! To sum up: Barack Obama, is he Dreamy McDreamypants or what?!
Proposed panels: Ronald Reagan: Great president, or greatest president? Southern Appeal: The First Things of the Internets. The Feddie v. Publius debates: Why Publius always lost. 🙂
Your panel will indeed be the most prestigious panel in Austin. But, you will need to have a life-long, progressive Texan on your panel (one who is almost unknown so that neither fame nor notoriety will obscure either the brilliance or the stupidity of his remarks) to interpret and translate the local patois (sometime pronounced patios in Texan) and to contribute simple, yet fetching, local color and bon mots phrased in Texanese to the discussion. I humbly volunteer myself for that position. In addition to the above stated qualifications, you will note that I have the capacity for being subtly obsequious, AND I also know most of the best places (which you refer to as “unaffiliated bars”) in Austin to do a post-meeting autopsy.
Here are a few suggestions for panel topics:
“Why Hillary’s Legs Are More Important To The Right Wing Than George’s Crimes.”
“Federalist Society Judges: Snakes In The Woodpile.”
“Cognitive Dissonance Is A Conservative Disservice.”
“The Texas Republican Party: Feral Hogs From Hell Or Just Mean People?”
I’ve enjoyed your essays for a year or two now and your writing has always been excellent.
However, “myself” cannot be the prepositional object in that sentence you wrote. Google for “reflexive pronoun”. Misuse of myself is becoming increasingly common and drives me absolutely insane. Don’t do that.
The “self-ish” pronouns can only be used when they refer to the subject of the sentence — subject was panel, not you, so you must use “me” as the object not “myself”
Thanks JTucker (earnestly). I have some rather gaping holes in my grammar, which I blame on the Kentucky public education system
“Thanks JTucker (earnestly). I have some rather gaping holes in my grammar, which I blame on the Kentucky public education system.”
Friendly comments on grammar/punctuation are welcome again?
Can I mention that “alot” is not a word, since it’s been used by a dozen people in a dozen comments in the past couple of weeks, and I’ve constantly withheld mentioning this for fear of annoying anyone?
I’d be happy to help folks write more clearly, by gently calling to their attention some other obvious problems of clarity, if anyone actually wanted to quit making those repeated errors.
Beyond pointing out that an ellipses only has three dots, that is.
But I’d never want to annoy any courteous commenter with unwanted advice, which is why I refrain 99.999% of the time.
And I particularly wouldn’t want to further annoy those already annoyed at me I don’t intentionally desire to annoy, which is most non-trolls.
(I’m used to, all my life since adolescence, mostly being around people who are very word-oriented, who delight in wordplay, and usage trivia, and who heartily enjoy debating points of usage, and utterly desire to improve their writing, and enjoy courteous advice/feedback, or humorous teasing; it’s been a long period of adjustment for me on blogs dealing with people who have a different sort of relationship with the English language, and who don’t, in fact, I had to relearn with surprise, take banter about language and punctuation and usage as pleasurable and desirable daily discourse. It’s not that I’d forgotten that most people are like that, but I’d really never before had the experience of being in a mutual environment of communicating by writing when a majority of interlocuters aren’t delighters in grammar, usage, and the like. Other than in rejecting their manuscripts, at least.)
Have you seen Kevin Spacey and Mike Huckabee in the same room?
Hey, never mind Kevin Spacey. Has anyone ever seen Huckabee and Jim Nabors in the same place at the same time?
If he yells “Golly!” or breaks into a chorus of “How Great Thou Art” during the next debate, we’ll know we have our man.
“people who have a different sort of relationship with the English language”
Heh. A “different sort”, yes, and sometimes a very tenuous one.
I’m actually a computer techie by trade — an insufferably pedantic one, of course. Some of the techie message boards I read are often unbearable, especially postings by younger people. I’m amazed at how common it is for people to use phrasing like “I could of [done something]”. Aiiieeee! That’s like fingernails on a chalkboard.
I live in Texas. My vote would go for “Feral Hogs From Hell” but that would be maligning actual feral hogs.
Gary – isn’t “ellipses” plural?
“Gary – isn’t “ellipses” plural?”
Absolutely. “an ellipses” was utterly absent-minded, and wrong, of course. “An ellipsis” is what I meant. Thanks for catching that!
(But what’s even more valuable is if you teach me something I don’t know about a usage, or how to express what I’m trying to say, that will enable me to write more elegantly. There are a gazillion better writers, and people far more knowledgeable of the English language, than I am, and an infinite amount more for me to learn.)
Is this more or less an open thread, or did publius prefer to restrict it to discussion of his post?
Publius, you left out the best part:
Our panel will be more alcohol soaked then Chris Hitchens at an Irish wedding between the Guiness and Jameson clans.
Which will be my excuse for failing to pronounce A-Jad with anything resembling the proper accent.
I’ve got some suggestions:
Why Can’t Americans Make A Decent Cup Of Tea?
British Coffee – Accidentally Or Deliberately Dreadful?
Freedom Toast – Insulting To Joseph French’s Memory?