In Which I Declare War On Balloon Juice

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Fresh from my dust-up with Tim F. of Balloon Juice, I return to Balloon Juice in hopes of finding some kind of solace in one of John Cole’s RINO-illiant posts.  But John, it appears, has not only gone over to the dark side — he is now exhorting his Balloon-Juice drinkin’ minions to join him there.  This I will not allow to stand.  Accordingly:

GO COLTS!

[But:  It’s third quarter and we’re down 14-3.  I will not give into despair, I will not give into despair, I will not give into despair, …..] 

UPDATE:  21-10 Steelers.  Less than 13 minutes left, Pittsburgh driving at about mid-field.  The part of me that played O-line in high school appreciates the work being done by Pittsburgh’s tackles. The rest of me despises it.

UPDATE 2:  21-18 Steelers, 4:24 to play.  We got a game here, and I don’t wanna hear nothin’ about the controversial call that kept the drive alive.

UPDATE 3:  Cole claims that the game is fixed.  Buddy, that so-called offsides "noncall" shoulda been a false start on Pittsburgh.  The tape doesn’t lie.  As for the interception-but-not-really:  I’m willing to accept that terrible things must happen for Good to triumpth over Evil.

UPDATE 4:  Uhh-oh.  We got a bit of a problem.

UPDATE 5:  Unbelievable.  Unbelievable.  Fumbles can be heaven or hell; heaven this time.  Colts have been rescued from the brink of death and are setting up for a FG on Pittsburgh’s 28 yard line.  About 21 seconds left.

UPDATE 6:  Missed the FG.  Wide fucking right.  (Wiiiiiiiidddddeeee fucking right.)  It’s over, 21-18 Steelers:

No… You can’t get away… From
hell’s heart I stab at thee…

(amid the pain)

For hate’s sake… I spit my last
breath at thee!

Khan topples forward, dead.

23 thoughts on “In Which I Declare War On Balloon Juice”

  1. I think Colts fans are like the new version of Red Sox fans or something. “This is THE year it finally happens.”
    I hope you guys don’t have to wait that long, but it won’t be happening this year.

  6. oh, and sorry about that interception.
    It ain’t an interception until it’s been called by the official, baby.
    Touchdown, Colts. Let’s add the two points: 21-18.
    (Granted, tho’, that the Colts are not executing well.)

  16. N.b. that “wide fucking right” is in fact a technical term of art in football viewing, and thus not a violation of any ObWi policies. Any true football fan will attest to this.
    Thanks, Anderson.

  17. Ten Top Trivia Tips about Obsidian Wings:
    1. Humans share over 98 percent of their DNA with Obsidian Wings.
    2. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching Obsidian Wings!
    3. During severe windstorms, Obsidian Wings may sway several feet to either side!
    4. Obsidian Wingsology is the study of Obsidian Wings.
    5. If you chew gum while peeling Obsidian Wings then it will stop you from crying!
    6. Obsidian Wings is the last letter of the Greek alphabet.
    7. Obsidian Wingsicide is the killing of Obsidian Wings!
    8. Worldwide, Obsidian Wings is the most important natural enemy of night-flying insects.
    9. Obsidian Wings will become gaseous if its temperature rises above -42°C.
    10. Obsidian Wings is the world’s smallest mammal.
    I know it’s true because I read it on the Internets.

  18. What are you people talking about? The football season ended yesterday.
    Nah, it ended on the 4th. This is just the desultory wrap-up.

  19. Comment of the Week:
    N.b. that “wide fucking right” is in fact a technical term of art in football viewing, and thus not a violation of any ObWi policies. Any true football fan will attest to this.
    Speaking as a lapsed ‘true football fan’ (though I have to renew my membership now that Seattle has, quite inexplicably, found itself in the playoffs), I will avow, attest, and swear to the fact that the f-word, in all its declensions and tenses, is a necessary term of art in football viewing as regards any play, player, coach, penalty call, and bit of color commentary. And sometimes the commercials, too.

  22. One other thing. As much as I do feel your pain, von, I don’t think there should be any exceptions to the use of profanity, even though it is an accepted NFL technical term.

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