Sow’s ears, Silk purses, et cetera

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I look at Putin’s power grab in Russia, and I conclude that Bush’s handling of Russia has borne sickly fruit, and Bush’s proposed pull-out from Europe may be premature. The normally far-brighter-than-I Professor Bainbridge looks at Putin’s power grab, and decides to shadow-box the far left. Eh, whatever. Just don’t try selling that sow’s ear to Macy’s — you might slap on a Prada tag, but it ain’t a purse.

(By the way, Bainbridge has inadvertenly slipped off my blogroll: He’ll reappear this evening, soon as I can figure out how to work this dang contraption.)

I continue to expect Bush to win this election. And, though I’ve concluded I’ll cast my vote against Bush, a Bush win won’t sadden me much: After all, I’ve got a fifth of you-pick-it riding on a Bush win in my long-standing bet with Harley of Tacitus. (I might need that fifth after I figure out much worse Bush can de-tax and spend the country’s future away.)

If Bush must win, however, let us at least have a full airing of the substantive issues. Let him win because his ideas seem better, not because we’re distracted by typesetting or SwiftVets or where Bush may (or may not) have been in 1972. (That we would worry about such things sounds like a punchline to a bad joke; pity the joke’s on us.) Being a bit of a self-satisfied prick, let me help y’all out on this:

Substantive Issues (i.e., imporant to the election): The past, present, and future of the (second) Iraq war; the past, present, and future of war on terror (including long-forgotten and -suffering Afghanistan, and the connection between the WoT and Iraq); the national deficit; Social Security reform; Medicare reform; education; etc.

Nonsubstantive Issues (i.e., not important to the election, i.e., meaningless gossip): Any issue that involves a discussion of “kerning”; any allegation of “string-pulling” to get Bush into the Texas National Guard thirty-plus years ago; any issue that involves second-guessing a thirty-year old decision to award a Purple Heart or other military honor; any allegation of cocaine or other drug use based on a second-hand, partisan witness; any snide discussion of the accent, or lack thereof, of either candidate’s wife; any argument that relies, for its primary evidence, on the claim that a candidate is dumb, is French, looks French, is Hitler, looks like Hitler, is a “Bushitler,” will immediately turn over the Oval Office to committee of folks in Blue helmets, et cetera; and, most importantly, any argument that fails to recognize that our choice is between two deeply-flawed candidates, and that neither side has much of a claim to “the Truth.”

For the love of God, folks: This ain’t “The Surreal Life.” This is a Presidential election during wartime. Start acting like it.

UPDATE: Rilkefan finds my post “rather offensive” and, as I read him, a bit too presumptive. This is where it’s useful to remember I’m a “a bit of a self-satisfied prick.” (Hey, at least I don’t endlessly write “pace [insert blogger]”.) Gary Farber says that he’s happy to discuss kerning, that we should revel in the nerd moment, and, frankly, (my take) a big “sod off” to any who feels otherwise. More power to him — nerd chic is, well, chic. (And, as a patent lawyer, I’m not exactly immune to the lure of minutiae.) But, please, time and place, folks. Bush’s and Kerry’s feelings regarding the relatively desireability of Buffy and Faith are not additional data points in the who should get your vote graph. So it is also with kerning. (Though, I’ll admit, I’d have trouble voting for a candidate who’d choose Buffy over Faith . . . . )

33 thoughts on “Sow’s ears, Silk purses, et cetera”

  1. Aw, crap, I was hopin’ you forgot. Well, we agree, sadly in one case, on both the outcome of the coming election, and in the faint hope that folks would like to talk about something other than Selectrics in the coming weeks and months. Iraq would be a good place to start. And it amazes me how, as Marshall put it recently, the war has become a rhetorical fixture rather than a reality.

  2. I’ve heard of covering your bets, but this is some sort of straddling you’re doing here, von.
    So, you’re gonna vote for Kerry, because Bush is unacceptable, but if Bush wins that will be acceptable?
    No offense, but this ping-pong match process is making me dizzy.
    I understand the lesser of two evils sentiments all our presidential elections seem to arouse, but I blame that on negative campaigning, not on the real chances we have of being equally screwed.
    The only thing folks say when you ask why Kerry would be bad for the nation is their belief he’ll let the terrorists walk all over us. Where they get that from, as if they have any evidence at all, boggles the mind.
    Bush is determined, so we’re told. Yeah, and if that translated into competence, it might mean something. But it doesn’t. He’s butchered Iraq like he’s gonna butcher the environment, social services, and any chance of restoring our good name around the world.
    We’re in a car headed over a cliff and the driver has the pedal to the metal…it takes courage to kick the driver out of the car, given how precarious the world is around us, but courage is what our future generations demand of us. When you can look at Bush and see he’s dragging us into a vortex of cronyism, powergrabbing, and increasingly Orwellian communications, how can you have hope for the future under him?

  4. So, you’re gonna vote for Kerry, because Bush is unacceptable, but if Bush wins that will be acceptable?
    Bush’s win will be acceptable, Ed, because I’ll be drunk on Harley’s liquor. Very, very drunk. Take it on good authority: Many unacceptable things become acceptable when you’re very, very drunk.
    And, no, I’m not providing examples from personal experience. 😉

  5. Take it on good authority: Many unacceptable things become acceptable when you’re very, very drunk.
    So long as that good authority is friends with a certain Mr. Daniels, I’m right there with you.
    I do, however, think it’s still too early to start pouring just yet.

  6. von, I find your list esp

    most importantly, any argument that fails to recognize that our choice is between two deeply-flawed candidates, and that neither side has much of a claim to “the Truth.”

    rather offensive. I’ll make my own mind up about Kerry’s relevant capabilities, which I find excellent if not up to Wesley Clark’s; I think I get to pursue whether Bush has recently lied about his Guard service; and for all I know my positions on policy etc may be right and until data shows otherwise or I find flaws in my logic I’ll continue to think they are.

  7. Great Bainbridge link, von. On the one hand, I guess I should be glad that we’ve graduated from “not as bad as Saddam” to “not as bad as Russia.” On the other hand, some people sure do set some awfully low bars for themselves. If I set my own bar at “not as bad as Jeffrey Dahmer,” that doesn’t make me St. Francis, for cryin’ out loud.

  9. rilkefan — were you a Clarkie too? (It’s what started me blogging in the first place. And fundraising, to the shock and amazement of my friends, who know that calling people and asking for money plays to each and every one of my horrible insecurities, except for those involving romantic relationships.
    I totally agree about kerning etc, but I’d add attitudes towards the Constitution and the rule of law to von’s list of substantive issues. That and health care and the environment, and of course the future composition of the Supreme Court.

  13. von, my comment above was overly harsh, at least intellectually speaking.
    Anyway, the debate on kerning has taken a strange turn – Killian’s secretary has come forward and (if I understand correctly) rejected the memos’s form but confirmed their substance.
    Angel-period Darla.

  14. well, if we’re going to be civil for a moment . . .
    yes, the republic will survive if bush is re-elected. and yes, i plan to be utterly soused during election night. (according to electoral-vote.com, Maine is in play. ye gods.)
    Rebecca Romijn. now that she’s left Stamos she’s like totally available.
    Francis

  17. francis, consider me crushed. you were supposed to say, now that john stamos is divorced he’s totally available. now you’re just another super smart hetero guy in lust with an untalented blonde actress. are there no illusions left?

  18. I suggest that it is premature to write off “kerning.” Assuming the documents are forgeries, they were produced rather recently. And if they were produced recently, then voters need to know if one of the campaigns produced them.
    That last bit, in particular, will speak to the integrity of the campaign.
    –|PW|–

  19. Are we Willow fans relegated to some kind of third-Buffy-hotty-party?
    (Truth be told, I’d choose Willow over either, any day of the week. But this is Slayer v. Slayer.)
    (according to electoral-vote.com, Maine is in play. ye gods.)
    Whereabouts you located, FDL? (I’ve spent many a summer in Prospect Harbor — off 186, north of Ellsworth.)

  20. I still miss the Mayor
    I do too. True, he was beholden to corporate America, but Mayor McCheese was a great dresser, had the ability to bring together disparate food groups and was edible to boot.

  21. And if they were produced recently, then voters need to know if one of the campaigns produced them.
    Fair point, Pennywit. Until then, however, my suggestion is: On to better things.

  24. So it seems that we don’t need to discuss kerning any more based on what Killian’s secretary has said. CBS screwed up. They should apologize and they should learn how to authenticate documents.
    That said: everyone prepare yourself for a lot of transparent bullying of CBS, and absurd conspiracy theories about CBS colluding with the Kerry campaign.
    Fact checking, even careless fact checking that gets 2/3 of the facts wrong along the way to a correct conclusion, is one thing. Trying to intimidate the press into submission is another. (Look at the fallout of Jayson Blair and the USA Today reporter who did the same thing.)
    Everyone on the left and center, please keep this in mind: despite all the sins, real and imagined, of CBS and the NY Times, they are approximately 50x more accurate and responsible than Fox News and the Washington Times. Would you rather depend on the former or the latter for your news? Because you know what the Powerlines and LGFs of the world want.
    Not that they’ll succeed in doing whatever they’d like to do to the “mainstream media”. But they will succeed in getting it to pull even more punches, retreat even further into the safety of horse race coverage and “he said, she said” and celebrity journalism, ignore even more important stories because they’ll be accused of bias if they investigate.
    Which does more harm? A press that fails to authenticate forged documents that probably tell a true story? Or a press that allows itself and the public to be completely misled about the Iraq War; stops investigating Abu Ghraib and other torture allegations because there are no pictures; allows lies to go unchallenged and choke off any possibility of honest debate; devotes more coverage to Laci Peterson and Janet Jackson’s boobies than to nuclear proliferation in Pakistan and North Korea and moves towards dictatorship in Russia?
    Keep all that in mind when deciding whether Dan Rather should apologize, resign, or be tarred, feathered and exiled to Saint Helena.

  25. For the love of God, folks: This ain’t “The Surreal Life.” This is a Presidential election during wartime. Start acting like it.
    Phew. Von. Thanks for clearing that up and the timely correction. I had just been biding my time to see if a good recipe for Quiche Lorraine popped up. Now may I have a hall pass to go to the bathroom?

  26. Okay, first. Not just Willow. But Alternative Universe Vamp Willow. Mmmmm. And as for poor ol’ Dan, the Dallas Morning News has the best, and in a weird way most appropriate, turn on this story yet. Killian’s secretary, who prides herself on her ‘meticulous typing’ sez the docs are fake, but….the content is accurate.
    Accurate fakes!

  28. Add to the list attitudes about class perhaps too.
    Afterall, Bush seems to think raising taxes on the rich is foolish because “the really rich people figure out how to dodge taxes anyway”. (per von – I won’t mention his views on military service when he was age eligible. Oops, just did.)
    Kerry has spent his entire adulthood in public service.

  29. re mad monk’s request for quiche: try allrecipes.com
    this looked good to me:
    1 recipe pastry for a 9 inch single crust pie
    12 slices bacon
    1 cup shredded Swiss cheese
    1/3 cup minced onion
    4 eggs, beaten
    2 cups light cream
    3/4 teaspoon salt
    1/4 teaspoon white sugar
    1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
    ——————————————————————————–
    DIRECTIONS:
    Preheat oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C).
    Place bacon in a large skillet, and fry over medium-high heat until crisp. Drain on paper towels, then chop coarsely. Sprinkle bacon, cheese and onion into pastry shell.
    In a medium bowl, whisk together eggs, cream, salt, sugar and cayenne pepper. Pour mixture into pastry shell.
    Bake 15 minutes in the preheated oven. Reduce heat to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C), and bake an additional 30 minutes, or until a knife inserted 1 inch from edge comes out clean. Allow quiche to sit 10 minutes before cutting into wedges.
    Serve with a nice cool Reisling on a fall day with a small green salad and a baguette gently warmed. mmmmmmm!
    Francis
    p.s. to wilfred: sorry to disappoint. i’m a 40-something happily married het. white guy with a weakness for blue chicks.

  31. “Bush’s and Kerry’s feelings regarding the relatively desireability of Buffy and Faith are not additional data points in the who should get your vote graph.”
    Sez you.
    “Though, I’ll admit, I’d have trouble voting for a candidate who’d choose Buffy over Faith . . . .”
    Of course, both Buffy and Faith would tell you in the ep they switched bodies that that’s wrong.
    At least in the comments on my blog we got to discuss sniffing dittographs. Kids here don’t recall such pleasures, and who knows from an A.B. Dick vs. a Gestetner? Socrates was so right.

  32. “Are we Willow fans relegated to some kind of third-Buffy-hotty-party?”
    No, Willow is whom I actually find it easy to imagine having a relationship with.
    Oh, so easy….
    Shut up.

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