The Google Terrrorist
It was the lead item on the government’s daily threat matrix one day last April. Don Emilio Fulci described by an FBI tipster as a reclusive but evil millionaire, had formed a terrorist group that was planning chemical attacks against London and Washington, D.C. That day even FBI director Robert Mueller was briefed on the Fulci matter. But as the day went on without incident, a White House staffer had a brainstorm: He Googled Fulci. His findings: Fulci is the crime boss in the popular video game Headhunter. “Stand down,” came the order from embarrassed national security types.
A guest poster would like to make a public service announcement.
Remember, kids….when you’re trying to take a bite out of terrorism, always, always Google.
(via Atrios. And no, I don’t think it’s necessarily true either, but I couldn’t resist.)
hmm…I don’t know what’s wrong with McGruff’s arm, but I have no time to fix it right now.
This reminds me of one the oddest reactions I had to 9/11. I remember being really upset about James Bond. I knew full well he was a fictional character, but somehow the attacks were so much worse than many of the things everyone had praised 007 for preventing, I thought how can I ever enjoy that sort of entertainment again?
They did a brilliant thing in Die Another Day by having had Bond in a NK prison during that time. But it’s clearly much more of a cartoon to me than it had been before 9/11.
BTW, ‘google’ also played a role in debunking the forged documents purporting to show an Iraq-Niger ‘yellowcake’ purchase unearthed in Italy. Various media organizations were able to ascertain that several of the cited Niger agencies didn’t exist and the officials had been out of office for over a decade.
Pity Condi Rice and the NSC didn’t do their homework.
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists – two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
“We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her.” The first man said. “You cant be serious. I could never shoot my wife!”The agent replies, “Then you?re not the right man for this job.”
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I cant kill my wife.” The agent replies, “You dont have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”
Finally, it was the womans turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, “You guys didnt tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. So I had to beat him to death with the chair.”