Month: April 2004

Carpeicthus Memorial Counterfactual Thread

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Because I am in glorious geekmode tonight, that’s why. Post your favorite alternate history scenarios here. For myself, I’ve always been interested in what would have happened if Islam had expanded west into Byzantium, instead of going east into Persia. What would that have changed – and what would have stayed the same?

Deer in a headlight moment.

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My girlfriend felt the need this evening to read an article aloud about weddings. I can’t imagine why; we’ve only being going out for seven years and living together for two. Besides, I’m sure that all couples start joint savings accounts for the specific purpose of saving up for the down payment on a house. I’d continue in this vein, but considering that the wedding article in question was written by Dave Barry*, I’d just be deluding myself on two levels, not one: Shotgun Wedding (Brides, a word of advice: Firearms might not be the best party favors)

(pause)

Jeebus, there’s an embarrassment of riches here. A taste:

Well, guess what? According to the Internet — and if we can’t trust the Internet, who the hell can we trust? — birds do not explode from eating rice. Avocados, yes; that is exactly why we do not throw avocados at the bride and groom. But rice is fine, except of course for the carbohydrates.

There’s also some stuff about guns and deranged bull monarch butterflies, although unfortunately not at the same time.

Moe

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This is an impossibility.

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There can be no Starship Troopers sequel, even if it’s direct-to-video, because THERE WAS NEVER A STARSHIP TROOPERS MOVIE FOR IT TO BE A SEQUEL TO IN THE FIRST PLACE. If there had been, and had been the sort of film that rumor suggests, it would have been regrettably necessary to cut off Paul Verhoeven’s … Read more

Epiphany.

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Yeah, one of those. I was reading Respectful of Otters (and let me tell you, after this story I’m quite ready to respect them*), and I was doing my best to keep up with the material being referenced in this post when it hit me: this is probably how most people think of our shared hobby (political wonkery). It obviously has relevance, the people involved take it quite seriously… and you really feel the lack of a scorecard beyond a certain level of complexity. Worse, you feel like that you should be keeping up with all of this, so the inadequacy fires up…

Still, fascinating stuff, though I suspect that a good deal of subtext is going right over my head. Ach, well, that happens when you’re a Right Wing Death Beast.

Moe

UPDATE: FEAR THE OTTER’S RIGHTEOUS PAWS AND FANGS OF FURY, YE PUNY, COWERING MORTALS!!!!!

(pause)

Actually, I just felt like typing that out. I’m not really sure why.

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I’m sorry, but I have to mock you now.

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As a general rule of thumb, when writing your own alternate history scenarios in response to other people’s alternate history scenarios, it helps if you can demonstrate at least a cursory knowledge of your subject matter. Like, say, knowing exactly what impeachment entails, the non parliamentary nature of the United States government, minor little details like that. As for being humorless and heavy-handed, well, Willis and Easterbrook were about even there anyway. Finally, when you get caught out, don’t get huffy about it.

(UPDATE: The mockery ends here, btw.)

Still, it’s a good question: how would have things gone under a hypothetical Gore administration? In my admittedly odd and heretical opinion: pretty much the same as under Bush. In my opinion, the recession, 9/11 and the Afghanistan invasion would have happened pretty much on schedule; as for Iraq… six month delay at most, more likely three, possibly even no delay at all, depending on how little said h.G.a. felt like humoring the UN. About the most significant difference would probably be that we’d probably have a Democratic Senate, maybe a Democratic House (I kind of doubt it, but it’s possible)… and a lot more lip service support from certain foreign countries. Everything else? Same old, same old: there’d be a recovering economy (none of this stuff about tax cuts and interest rates, it’s all about appeasing the economic gods with the appropriate animal sacrifices), a seething Iraq and a scandal-ridden UN* in this alternate, too.

As to how well Gore would have handled this… if you want to believe that he would have solved it all and wrapped it up in a bow, knock yourself out; likewise to those who’d consider the “We’d All Be Doomed” scenario to be more likely. We’re never going to know either way – or even if a third option (“Eh. He got through it, some good here, some bad there, got lucky a few times, got knocked back once or twice”) would have been the end result.

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Utter idiocy.

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Updated: . . . . . by me. I’m not a fan of the Daily Kos, but the following post (in its last-updated form) is based on an imperfect understanding of events. To use a useful euphemism.

‘Bout all I can say is that Diarist SOJ is an idiot. Click on continue to read on, or mercifully let it rest.

von

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Iraq: What Would Kerry Do?

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Presumptive Democratic nominee for president, Senator John Kerry (D-Mass.), outlined his strategy for winning the peace in Iraq in the Washington Post today. He began by insisting that we cannot fail the people of Iraq, but went on to argue that the President’s approach has led us to where we now “bear…most of the costs … Read more

Who is playing politics with 9/11?

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It is becoming increasingly obvious that Democrats are playing up the 9/11 investigation as a purely political game–which is to say not to find a better way of developing useful intelligence, but almost completely as a club with which to bash Bush. This is illustrated by the fact that they allude to the amorphous idea … Read more

Tax Slamming

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A Private email has requested another ObWi Poetry Slam. We live but to serve. The Slam will go up on April 16, 2004, starting at 8:00 PM EST; I won’t tell you to write about taxes, but given the date I won’t be surprised, either. And now, to bed. Getting posts out tonight was like … Read more

An interesting speculation.

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Wretchard of the Belmont Club is claiming to smell a rat in the accounts of three different journalist capture/releases iin Iraq; he’s essentially suggesting that the similarities in each case are sufficient to suggest that Western journalists are being used to disseminate disinformation. It sounds plausible – possibly too plausible, and begs the question of … Read more

Time and other essential things: Back rooms and smoke

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Tonight brings news of a deal with al-Sadr. “These are just initial discussions,” said Lt. Gen. Ricardo S. Sanchez, commander of American forces in Iraq, who appeared with General John Abizaid, the commander of American troops in the Middle East, at a Baghdad news conference today. “We are not negotiating at this point until we … Read more

Full Disclosure.

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I posted the following as a comment on Tacitus on Sunday morning. Since it concerns the upcoming election, and since you have a right to know where each of your ObWi commentators are coming from, here it is again. (Note that it’s a bit of a rant: I’d probably tone it down a notch if I were writing it as a blog entry. All typos have been faithfully replicated from the original.)

Update: It appears that my liberal Republican ass is on the left-end of a trend. (Joe Lieberman Democrat also works as a good shorthand.)

This Administration is about to make me lose my “pro-war moderate lefty-libertarian” label, and become a screaming far-left moonbat.

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I’d be remiss . . . .

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If I didn’t at least refer you to the LGF Quiz. You, too, can attempt to determine the “who said it?”: A Little Green Footballs commentator or a Late German Fascist. (Via Wonkette, who first directed my attention to the quiz.) Like Tacitus, I think it’s a bit unfair to hold a blogger responsible, even … Read more

9/11 Navel Gazing

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There has been much recent discussion about the presidential briefing and relating to 20/20 hindsight regarding 9/11. See for example Edward, Matthew Yglesias , and Kevin Drum. Kevin almost gets it right with, “Look, I know there’s a perfectly good case to be made that the PDB merely states generalities and doesn’t warn of a … Read more

McCain Shivs the Democrats. Again.

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Hey, you guys remember Senator John McCain? You know, the Republican who was the subject of speculation that he was going to be offered Kerry’s Veep slot? The Republican that CW’s designated as most likely to be praised by Democrats? Him?

Well, he put the knife in tonight on national TV:

WASHINGTON (CNN) — Trying to stamp out speculation that he might consider joining Democratic Sen. John Kerry’s ticket, Republican Sen. John McCain of Arizona insisted Sunday that he would not do so under any circumstances.

He said he would campaign and vote for President Bush in the fall, despite their policy differences.

“No, no and no. I will not leave the Republican Party. I cherish the ideals and principles of Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt and Ronald Reagan,” he said on NBC’s “Meet The Press.”

(emphasis mine)

Now, personally I think that you can find the ideals and principles of at least the first two in the Democratic Party, too (I think that it’s a bit early for everyone to be comfortable with feeling all bipartisan about Ronnie), but then again I’m not the Republican Senator responsible for deliberately screwing over Democratic fundraising efforts for probably the rest of the decade (I’m also not up for reelection this year, either). Granted, this SOB is on my side, but we already have enough people in both parties ready to slap at outstretched hands, thanks; no need to encourage the process.

Just… stop encouraging him, ‘kay*? It’s painful to watch, sometimes.

(Via Centerfield)

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(Subsitute Non-inflammatory Clarke Title here)

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I had a good one, too. But I spend a lot of time making myself play nice, and using it would have overturned months of effort. Alas. Alack. Anyway, it appears that Richard Clarke was giving television interviews exclusively to ABC on at least Thursday, and the other networks weren’t too happy about it. Significant … Read more

File under “Guardedly good news (Non-Iraq)”…

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… because, bluntly, there’s at least half a dozen websites out there covering Iraq better than I would, and I’m working under the assumption that my readers here are regularly checking out at least three of them regularly (not the same three in each case, obviously). Moving on, there is an interesting, yet vague, indication … Read more

What do John Kerry and I have in common?

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Differences in opinion with Roman Catholic bishops, that’s what (via The World Wide Rant:

BOSTON, April 11 — Rejecting the admonitions of several national Roman Catholic leaders, Senator John Kerry received communion at Easter services today at the Paulist Center here, a kind of New Age church that describes itself as “a worship community of Christians in the Roman Catholic tradition” and that attracts people drawn to its dedication to “family religious education and social justice.”

Mr. Kerry’s decision to receive communion represented a challenge to several prominent Catholic bishops, who have become increasingly exasperated with politicians who are Catholic but who deviate from Catholic teaching.

Not that we’re precisely alike; Senator Kerry is still attending Mass, while I haven’t entered a Roman Catholic church since August of 2003. That previous sentence should be read as approving towards Kerry and disapproving towards me, just so we’re clear: he’s right to go and I’m wrong to stay away (those interested in why can see it below the fold: fair warning, it’s long, involved and quite possibly self-indulgent).

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Moving Expectations

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Twice during her public testimony before the 9/11 commission, Dr. Rice noted that “if we had known that an attack was coming… we would have moved heaven and earth to stop it.”

I thought that seemed a bit hyperbolic at the time, but, like “tired of swatting flies”, I understood it to be just a figure of speech. Then it got repeated a bit more, that phrase, in the kind of repetition that makes you think it was on a talking points memo:

White House Communications Director Dan Bartlett, …[said] on The Early Show…”Trust me, if the President of the United States thought that there were operations to hijack planes to crash into New York City and Washington, D.C., he would have moved heaven and earth to prevent it.”

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An Easter post. Not the Easter post.

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Short version: I suddenly have to be the one to prepare a ham for Easter dinner. It’s going into the oven in about a half hour to an hour from now; it’s precooked, honey glazed and just under 10 lb, so it defaults to being relatively straightforward. Dinner’s somewhere around 5:30 PM, subject of course … Read more

Happy Easter (a day early)

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I missed giving the Passover blessing, so I’ll be a bit early: Happy Easter! For the Christians in the audience, please remember that today is the important one — not Good Friday, despite what Mel Gibson would have you believe.

Of course, consider the source: I’m an agnostic, lapsed Presbyterian, one-time Christian existentialist, one-time Ayn Rand materialist (shudder), who has close Jewish relatives to whom he’s devoted,* who was married in a Lutheran Church, whose parents are Episcopalians, who was deeply influenced in his moral thinking by a Catholic law school,** and who buys a lot of books on Buddhism.***

In other words, I am a mess. But I do like Easter. Easter represents the very highest things in humanity: sacrifice, love, patience, and perserverence. You don’t have to believe in it to be moved by it. (Though, as I grow older — and perhaps wiser — I do find myself believing in it all the more.)

Be kind to one another. Be kind even to your enemies — especially to your enemies.

von

p.s. to Moe Lane/others: Don’t let this pre-empt your own Easter greeting.

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Kids today.

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First it was Wonkette and creating ‘personalized’ campaign posters at the Bush web site, now it’s Wizbang and putting up ‘personalized’ web pages at the Kerry campaign site. Can’t we all just get along? Although I do have to wonder whether or not the Kerry campaign people talk to, well, anybody online. I would have … Read more

The PDB is available.

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Here’s the CNN transcript of the memo, fresh from the White House (which presumably means that it’s declassified, which is the only reason that I’ll link to it). I’ll be revising this post as I go. For example, now I’m noting that it was via Harley (who I was rather snide to earlier; so much … Read more

You know, I don’t even like Rush…

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…but this Salon article (Dr. Dittohead*) could serve as the Platonic Ideal for that patronizing You’re Not So Bad-Looking For A Fat Chick insult-meme that we’ve all had to encounter, now and again. Well worth sitting through an ad for, if only to watch the poor woman have to emulate a pretzel so that she could even approximate a stance where she was able to fake tolerating somebody with such bad taste as to like Rush Limbaugh. Mind you, I’ve got no beef about somebody despising the man; I don’t like him myself. But as Andy said, self-parodying, much? Heck, there’s a part of me that suspects that this was an April Fool’s story (in which case, it’s the best one I saw this year). If not… well, I’m no psychologist, so we’ll just delete the advice I was going to give.

Moe

PS: BTW, Ms. Mifflin, on the off chance that you ever read this… I’ll bet you a dollar that your therapist already knew all about the stuff you said about Rush: she just didn’t feel like losing a patient with your level of issues.

Call it a hunch.

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If seven years behind the spatula taught me anything…

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…it’s that the Scotsman is eternal. Don’t let that happy clown fool ya: Mickey Dee is as good as the Mouse when it comes to shrugging off attacks (although the latter is unparalleled for sheer bloody-minded viciousness). What’s that, Karl? Oh, right, you’ve expanded, you and your tractor. You’re going against them all now, not just the Golden Arches. The fact that you couldn’t even slow ’em down had nothing to do with it. In fact, I think that your protests might have even increased interest in the corp, which led to increased sales, which made my stock in the company go up in value. IOW, many thanks from this small cog in the VRWC for globalization; we couldn’t have entrenched ourselves in France without you.

Then again, how were you supposed to realize how much supernatural mojo the Pros from Chicago actually pack*?

Moe

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Good. And evil. And the need to make a choice between the two.

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Charles Johnson writes today that “I’ve been coming in for some (in my opinion) unwarranted criticism for the types of posts that get deleted at LGF.”

He then reprinted several posts that would be deleted under LGF’s deletion policy. As many once-LGF fans know, however, the problem with Mr. Johnson’s deletion/banning policy isn’t with the comments he deletes; it’s with the comments that he leaves up and (at times) appears to tacitly endorce. I thus responded to Mr. Johnson with the following comment, which I reprint below (typos in the first paragraph have been corrected — hey, I’m a post-modern Grammar God):

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I am an odd duck, really.

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I have a serious and contemplative religion post planned for tomorrow, it being Easter and all, and yet I am apparently almost compelled to do my part to make sure that this picture gets a wider distribution (all blame goes to Constant Reader kenB for pointing it out). I often wonder what’s down there in my subconscious –

(“Monsters, John! Monsters from the id!”)

– yes, thank you. Aside from random quoters, that is. On the bright side, I at least never came up with this*.

Moe

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OK, what should we use, then?

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I’ve been thinking about this for a couple of days. It is CW among our little subsection of Western society (I refer, of course, to obsessed policy wonks) that anecdotal evidence and polls are useless for forecasting an election, especially when their findings support the other side. Seems fair enough. After all, anecdotal evidence is … Read more

So that’s what a social life looks like.

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Otherwise known as Why Moe Isn’t Blogging: I’ve got opinions on stuff, I just don’t think that I’m particularly coherent right now. I think I shall listen again to my new Johnny Cash CD (The Essential Johnny Cash*) and call it a night. Moe *Purchased as a result of the advice given in this discussion. … Read more

Three Point Turn

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The Commissar provides some much-needed historical perspective in response to Andrew Sullivan’s annoyance at the 9-11 Commission hearings: What is there to say? We have a frigging war on and the major networks all run this? I have nothing to add. Except to say: we have a war on. We used to win them before … Read more

Somber Anniversary

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When I watched the statue of Saddam Hussein being pulled down last year in Firdos Square, Iraqis and Americans together laughing and enjoying the spectacle of the tyrant’s humiliation, I wasn’t aware what a brief and precious moment that would be.

I’m still optimistic about Iraq settling down once the holidays pass and the Marines demonstrate that they’re not going anywhere (the alternative is too bleak to contemplate), but this account of where we stand, one year after the fall of Hussein, is not how I’d have predicted the story would be told at this point.

Some selected observations from L.A. Times writer John Daniszewski :

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