Differences in opinion with Roman Catholic bishops, that’s what (via The World Wide Rant:
BOSTON, April 11 — Rejecting the admonitions of several national Roman Catholic leaders, Senator John Kerry received communion at Easter services today at the Paulist Center here, a kind of New Age church that describes itself as “a worship community of Christians in the Roman Catholic tradition” and that attracts people drawn to its dedication to “family religious education and social justice.”
Mr. Kerry’s decision to receive communion represented a challenge to several prominent Catholic bishops, who have become increasingly exasperated with politicians who are Catholic but who deviate from Catholic teaching.
Not that we’re precisely alike; Senator Kerry is still attending Mass, while I haven’t entered a Roman Catholic church since August of 2003. That previous sentence should be read as approving towards Kerry and disapproving towards me, just so we’re clear: he’s right to go and I’m wrong to stay away (those interested in why can see it below the fold: fair warning, it’s long, involved and quite possibly self-indulgent).
I was raised Roman Catholic, and despite more than a nodding acquaintance with the evangelical / fundamentalist Christian movement in my youth I remain so to this day. My personal belief system is not especially noteworthy; I expect that it could use a healthy dose of philosophy (and two of intellectual consistency) but by and large it serves me well enough, I think. I call for no-one’s damnation and I try always to remember that I. too, am a sinner. My faith is real but not especially flashy, and I would normally take a certain additional comfort in the way that my sect draws on twenty centuries of patient Catholic musings to fuel its theology.
Unfortunately, I am in dispute with the hierarchy. Actually, let us not mince words: I am a heretic. I do not agree with current dogma on a great number of things, including homosexuality, celibacy for priests, female clergy, abortion (somewhat), birth control, capital punishment, genetic engineering and the need to send money to Rome when they could just as easily sell off some of the metric tons of artwork accumulated over the last two millennia. There are other disputes, but those will do in a pinch. I say that I am a heretic because I endorse the Apostolic Succession, and thus recognize the special status of the Pope: I just think that he’s wrong, or more accurately, his advisors are. Which is why I haven’t become a Lutheran or Episcopalian.
Still, all this I could work around – I’m no different than a lot of American Catholics, from what I’ve seen – but it was impossible for me to ignore the pedophile scandals. It is a hard thing to know that the man who is offering you the Body and Blood of Christ may be a predator; and that if he was, his bishop – your bishop – almost certainly knows of it, but will not tell you; and that if an outrage occurs in your parish, the only real result would have been the priest’s transferral to a distant parish. Too hard, actually; I know that it is not the priest who sanctifies the Host – but that only theoretically helps. So I stopped going to Mass.
But I miss it, I do. I was able to attend Mass last year at the Pennsic War – I convinced myself that if a fellow SCAdian priest (he was, btw, a real Roman Catholic priest, and vouched for by people who understood precisely what I was concerned about) couldn’t be given a chance, then there really was no hope left for my Church – and it was like a breeze of good air coming through a stagnant room. But I had to go back to Maryland, and I sat downstairs for thirty minutes this morning telling myself that it was almost certainly all right and that I was just being silly.
I didn’t go. I knew that I was indeed being silly, but I didn’t go. I am angry at a hierarchy that seems to have forgotten their vocations and their responsibility to the people that they vowed to sustain. I am angry at those who have taken advantage of the illness of a good man and fine Pope to push their own agendas. I am angry (and a little afraid) at the thought of what will happen to my Church when John Paul II dies and the struggle to replace him comes out into the open. And I am especially angry – I fight to keep it from hatred – that circumstances dictate that my first reaction to any priest of my faith is not welcome, but wariness. I could not find a way to let none of that matter, and really I’m the poorer for it.
So, all in all, in this matter I envy Senator Kerry. He can find it within himself to keep going through those doors, and I cannot.
Tough for me to deal with this Moe, my position is an inferior, or alien one. I do not want to offend, and as not a practictioner I shouldn’t speak. I am not religious, tho pretty awfully philosophical. I was barely raised Catholic, so barely I was never confirmed. But *chose* it in my twenties as the most attractive religion not to believe in. I studied the grounds for belief and unbelief, and injustice and tragedy in the world were excluded as grounds for unbelief.
As were the flaws and failures in its leaders and practicers excluded. The Inquisition was never to me anything but the evidence of man’s weakness. Just guessing here, but does not the doctrine of the sacrament of confession pertain to the Church’s treatment of its pedophile priests?
And the Church suffered a great schism once before when scandal felt intolerable to many of its flock. We, in my opinion, live with the consequences of the Protestant Revolt to this day.
Forgive. My heart is closed, so it is too much an intellectual exercise to me. Your heart appears more open, and suffers a lack and loss.
That was offensive, you were not talking about belief but about religion and community of worship. Others would be more able to talk about such things than me.
Since you got personal, so will I. When I was ten, I showed behavioral problems. The counselors and shrinks took a look, said “Not crazy, he will be functional, but he will always be a loner.” A self-fulfilling prophecy? Not really, people just are wired different. Drugs and therapy did nothing. I have no regrets, or envy, or self-pity. I am not a virgin by any means, have had friends, am liked at work. etc.
But I may be a sociopath or simple schiz or slightly autistic. Relationships are very difficult to form and keep.
And have value more as something I should do than as something I enjoy. And when someone talks of community, or belonging, of loyalty and attachment to a group or idea of a group ( or a political party :)), he is talking Martian. I translate and try to understand intellectually so I can talk to people.
And maybe that is why I study ethics so hard.
No envy, not bitter, enjoyed my life. Not criticizing. But if you can look at me and be a little grateful and caring to the ones around you, this post has done some service.
“That was offensive”
I wasn’t offended, bob.
Well. There is a difference between faith and religion. And I am a fan of “organized religion”, and skeptical of those who think that it has no value.
And I defend, to an extent the Paul Cella’s of the world because I fear, in his words “atomistic individualism” which religion has always been one of the major factors in restraining.
And it seemed I was responding to your post like someone talking about romance to a person whose marriage has broken up. The problem is not a lack of love.
Moe,
I’m curious — if you were otherwise happy with the church hierarchy’s decisions and actions, would the pedophile scandal have been enough to send you packing, or was it just basically the last straw?
I guess that may be a difficult question to answer; I ask only because, as one who was not raised in a church-going family and who is now a Presbyterian (whose churches operate more as individual franchises than branch offices), it’s hard for me to put myself in your position. I don’t have that sense of a lifelong relationship with my church, and in any case there’s no central hierarchy to resent.
Anyway, it’s a shame that you’ve lost your church home. That much I can fully understand. i don’t think you’re wrong to stay away — you need to do what’s right for yourself spiritually, and it sounds like right now that doesn’t include attending mass, even on Easter. I hope that the Catholic church becomes what you and so many other American Catholics want it to be, or failing that, that you can find another church to nurture your spirit.
“And it seemed I was responding to your post like someone talking about romance to a person whose marriage has broken up. The problem is not a lack of love.”
Seriously, again, bob, it’s cool. Nothing wrong with an alternate take and thank you for sharing it.
I’m sorry for your loss, Moe.
Bob: “…slightly autistic….”
You’re probably already familiar with it, but a running observation in my community of science fiction-type people for several years now is the seeming commonality of low-level Asperger’s Syndrome. It’s hard to say how serious any of us are, because we’re that kind of people.
God knows I show plenty of symptoms.
Gary: Had heard of Asberger, went googling, saw the list of symptoms. Darn, I used to tear the labels off beer bottles, so I guess I got it.
Nah. My gut reaction was here is a list of idiosyncratic behavior, a label, a self-help group, what a bunch of darn *joiners*.
And for many years my attitude was ok the Church forbids birth control, some members disagree and will not obey, I cannot claim with certainty which is right but can see a logic to each position, but the Church also claims adherence to doctrine….so where is the problem? You obey or you leave. Gays and the Church? Pro-choicers and The Repubs? Uhh, once you have decided your position, no more inner conflict.
I have been getting better with this lately.
I think the answer to the Church/pedophile problem is to import a bunch of Vietnamese/South American/African priests, but, hey I am a pre-Vatican II kinda guy.
That’s tough, Moe. I’m sorry.
to me the church is a living organism , capable of going through misleading trials, sex abuse , all sorts of ‘SIN” she, we , her people of the Mystical Body of Christ need to contemplate, and argue less amongst others. through contemplation, comes grace, the power of God and all the light that emanates from within it, all the answers lie there, reasons for leaving her for your mundane excuses aren’t even recorded, but the love you express to others is…..,
to me the church is a living organism , capable of going through misleading trials, sex abuse , all sorts of ‘SIN” she, we , her people of the Mystical Body of Christ need to contemplate, and argue less amongst others. through contemplation, comes grace, the power of God and all the light that emanates from within it, all the answers lie there, reasons for leaving her for your mundane excuses aren’t even recorded, but the love you express to others is…..,