Wizbang reminds us that tomorrow is the second annual International Eat An Animal For PETA Day – one of those quaint rituals started up by us on the Right to assuage our mean-spirited nature when we can’t defraud widows and orphans – and so I encourage all of you to hunt down a defenseless critter, rip off a hunk of its flesh, subject it to high heat until suitably charred for your taste, throw it on a plate and brandish it at your loved ones, especially small, impressionable children who can be corrupted into crypto-cannibalism*.
Parsley optional.
Moe
*Unless, of course, you are in point of fact one of the vast majority of vegetarians/vegans who (out of perfectly normal politeness) avoid commenting about other people’s dietary habits unless specifically asked; we of the VRWC do request that you do the same thing with a soyburger or some tofu, then pretend that you carved out a gobbet of animal flesh and ate it in front of the terrified animal if somebody from PETA calls you up to ask, but it’s hardly a requirement.
Why not make it a doubly productive day and make the critter you choose one of the millions of cat-sized rats crawling through the subway system. Feel free to exhibit extra ferocity as you rip its head off.
If you don’t live in a city, perhaps a stray dog or cat will do…some animal no one will miss of course.
Failing that, you might have to travel a bit…think “local zoo.” Baby pandas should be easy to wrestle down to the ground. The more endangered, the more delicious, they say.
Failing that, perhaps the pet of an older person who doesn’t have much longer to live anyway is the best choice. Think of the anguish you save the dumb beast by ending its life before it wakes one morning, looking for breakfast, just to find its owner hunched over dead in the easy chair.
or … well, perhaps you get the idea.
Who says PETA-baiting is just for the Right? I’m an avowed carnivore.
Unless, of course, you are in point of fact one of the vast majority of vegetarians/vegans who (out of perfectly normal politeness) avoid commenting about other people’s dietary habits unless specifically asked
Vegetarians I’ll buy, but I’ve never met a vegan who wasn’t sanctimonious about it (and that includes my friends who’re vegans). It’s especially amusing watching vegan motorcyclists whine about not being able to find leather alternatives.
And like Catsy said, hating PETA is a bipartisan thing.
Excellent advice for our rational vegan/veggie friends. It’s all about horrifying a PETA nutcase. In fact some of those newer veggie burgers are hard to distinguish from a McDonald’s hamburger.
A Boca Burger for solidarity, then. I’ll even put BBQ sauce on it.
The vegans/vegetarians I know don’t proselytize, and I try not to mock them because deep down I know they’re right, even when I’m eating an entire bloody porterhouse steak.
“In fact some of those newer veggie burgers are hard to distinguish from a McDonald’s hamburger.”
This does not make me want to go out and try one. If there’s a veggie burger that tastes significantly better than one of those cooked-beyond-death quarter pounders, I’d be happy to give it a shot. What’s state-of-the-art?
Grabbed my 30-30, walked into the kitchen and turned on the light.
Got that Texas cockroach basting in the 50-gallon drum as we speak. Calling the neighbors, too much for one.
I will now do a twofer offensive: But, hey, without PETA, we wouldn’t have all their posters/ads of nekkid people!
Who says they don’t do some good?
For the record, Amanda and I will be going out to dinner for this wondeful event. More than likely we’ll be going to Outback for it.
Berating PETA is definitely bipartisan fun.
I spent a couple of years working as a charcutier (that’s fancy-talk for “grill man”) in a high-end fusion place in Bloomington, Indiana, a hotbed of vocally political vegans. All over the town’s sidewalks (with an increase in frequency correlating to proximity to the I.U. campus), one could see stencilled spray paint reading, “VEGAN POWER XXX”…
…Vegan power? They couldn’t keep a drum circle going for more than an hour without stopping for supplements, for the luv a Pete.
BTW, I just ate half a small octopus. Cheers!
Nothing Says Nutrition Like a Big Fat Greasy Hog
I would be remiss in failing to acknowledge the Special Day that it is. Today Monday 15th of March is the second annual observence of International Eat an Animal For PETA Day. Meryl over at Yourish.Com initiated IEAFPD last year…
Ah, but Bloomington also has Janko’s Little Zagreb, at which you can get an absurdly large steak. Maybe they cancel each other out to an extent. I’ve only made one trip to the Little Zagreb (couple of decades ago, almost) but it was enough to last me.
Vegan fare is fine; I love Falafel King in Boulder and the like. And I’ve known people who were vegetarians (perhaps not to the extent of being vegans) who simply don’t like meat. They aren’t at all righteous about it. Let’s not use too broad of a brush, ok?
Good point, Slartibartfast… I couldn’t resist a cheap shot at vegans in general, I’m afraid. Anyway, unfortunately, the self-righteous ones are the ones who get noticed. Applies to so many points of view, it’s unfortunate. One other thing about the city of Bloomington that I hope is not too much of a microcosmic trait… that, like a lot of college towns, there seems to be a wacky left, a wacky right, and no real center. I was always left with the feeling there that politics=shouting match. That kind of thing annoys the hell out of me, and it’s all too common.
Having been a vegetarian for nigh-unto eleven years now, and the antics of PETA aside, I can assure you that I haven’t heard vegetarians or vegans comment on others’ diets one-tenth as much as I’ve heard smug, sarcastic, jerkass lectures every time someone hears for the first time that I’m a vegatarian. The latter is so much more likely to occur in any given situation than the former that I’m about thisclose to punching someone in the eye the next time I hear it.
Did you go to IU, Ryan? My brother did (nearly a couple of decades ago) and was a minor in Japanese. But his experience of life in Japan ended in 1987 or so.