(Pointing) Cow.*

I know that I said that I was going for coffee, but this article from Dave Barry stopped me cold. I shall merely quote the passage that my long-suffering girlfriend quoted when she sent this to me:

“WISCONSIN –Weary National Guard troops continued to battle a rampaging herd of bacteria-enhanced Australian kangaroo cows that have been bounding around this heartland state, soaring over fences with moos of derision and punching their way into grain silos. ‘The worst thing,’ said one Guardsman, ‘is when they get airborne, and suddenly you’re facing a hailstorm of incoming meadow muffins. Although I have to say they don’t smell as bad as the local cows.’ ”

Also in the article… SUVs with machine guns! Somebody’s actually making them! It’ll be just like Car Wars! No, wait, that’s bad.

Anyway, read the whole thing, as He Who Almost No-One Is Neutral About would say.

*Ooh, just pushing the Invisible Line between my online enthusiasms with this outbreak of bovilepsy**.

**Bovilepsy: a mental short-circuit existing in most people’s brains. Simply put, if you get someone into the habit of looking whenever you point at a cow and say “Cow” (this is startlingly easy to get people to do; I suspect that the CIA’s behind that), that person will continue to look whenever you point and intone, no matter the locale. I’ve gotten people with this in subways, suburbs, the middle of Paris, once on a boat… and it doesn’t matter if they know the joke, either. Amazing, amazing, amazing.

I just wish that I was the one who came up with the name.