Hunting for conservative votes, John Kerry got photographed in his autumn camouflage and carrying a 12-gauge shotgun outside of Youngstown, Ohio. Reportedly be bagged a goose, but let someone else carry it:
“I’m too lazy,” Kerry joked. “I’m still giddy over the Red Sox. It was hard to focus.”
The NRA is, as one might expect, mocking the Senator’s efforts to appeal to the hook-and-bullet set:
The National Rifle Association said it bought a full-page ad in Thursday’s Youngstown newspaper that says Kerry is posing as a sportsman while opposing gun-owners’ rights. Kerry has denied NRA claims that he wants to “take away” guns, but he supported the ban on assault-type weapons and requiring background checks at gun shows
“If John Kerry thinks the Second Amendment is about photo ops, he’s Daffy,” says the ad the NRA said would run in The Vindicator [ed’s note: I delivered this rag as a kid]. It features a large photo of Kerry with his finger on a shotgun trigger but looking in another direction.
Meanwhile, labor unions have been circulating fliers among workers that say Kerry won’t take away guns. “He likes his own gun too much,” says one of the fliers from the Building Trades Department of the AFL-CIO that features a picture of Kerry aiming a shotgun.
I spent many soggy Saturday mornings hunting in that same area of Ohio as a kid (I grew up mere miles from Youngstown). My 12-gauge shotgun is now at my father’s house, but I can still remember the smells of the crisp mornings, musty canvas pouch (which I had to carry), and cold black mix of metal and gun oil. I was a lousy hunter, but enjoyed the bonding time and adventures with my father and uncles. Just about the time I thought my frozen toes would fall off, my Uncle R. would break out his thermos of hot chocolate. My favorite part was the target practice at the end of the day. My least favorite part was skinning the animals, down in the basement, blood everywhere, their entrails on the counter…yuck. Although I liked to keep their tails as trophies.
We actually ate everything my father shot, so I have no guilt about the tradition. I believe responsible gun-ownership is acceptable in a free society. The men in my family are deadly serious about gun safety. I also believe responsible hunting is more honorable than merely eating meat but only after it’s been processed beyond any recognition of the once living animal. If you’re gonna be a carnivore, you should be able to handle the violent aspects of it.
Suggesting Kerry wants to take away guns because he backs the ban on assault-type weapons (something Bush pays lip service to, but clearly is trying to play both ways) disguises the darker, dishonorable side of the gun lobby. They are as intolerant a group as any I can think of in this country. Oh, they’ll tell you they understand the menance guns on our city streets represents and suggest law enforcement is enough to protect innocent citizens, but they’re not willing to compromise one bit, regardless of how much more dangerous technology makes the weapons than our founding fathers could have ever imagined.
True hunters, like the men in my family, will be the first to tell you that assualt weapons are for soldiers, wimps and criminals. Obviously the criminals are the ones we need to be most worried about getting them, but the wimps are their facilitating dupes. Like so many clueless Elmer Fudds, they’ve let the NRA scare tactics put these pointless weapons back on our streets. “Say your pwayers City Dwellers…heh-heh-heh.”
But… but I need my AK-47! To, y’know. Protect myself. From my well-off suburban neighbors.
I said my piece about Kerry and his team not getting the gun issue here, back in August. Nothing has changed, and it’s not going to now. They blew whatever chance they had on this issue that’s major to a lot of Americans, a number of whom could have been swung to Kerry.
“…they’ll [the NRA] tell you they understand the menance guns on our city streets represents and suggest law enforcement is enough to protect innocent citizens….”
That’s 100% wrong, of course, by the way. The NRA, and the 2nd Amendment crowd’s stance is precisely that law enforcement is not enough, and that’s why citizens need to be able to exercise their right to own a gun to protect themselves, whether in a city or in a rural area. One can argue all one wants with this, but that’s their stance, not “law enforcement is enough to protect innocent citizens.”
FWIW, it’s not really about hunting. So no, I don’t think Kerry has successfully innoculated himself on this issue at all. And the assault weapons ban is so full of holes that it’s pointless. Why hurt your chance to win Ohio and WV for a sham law?
Gary, at the very least they’re trying to have it both ways, so it’s not exactly “100%” wrong. The NRA suggests that assault weapons are not a threat to city dwellers because they’re not being used that often in crime there…
Of course they’re combining all kinds of attacts in here, and mixing city with noncity, but this would certainly suggest that the police are doing a fine job of preventing violent crime with assault weapons, unless you’re gonna buy its other possible implication that only law-abidding people have assault weapons. Either way, the statement is not “100%” wrong.
Well, there goes the goose vote.
My dad used to hunt frequently. We ate what he shot because all too frequently that was all we ever had, meat-wise, unless we had to fall back on the church. I still have extremely dim memories of the older bristers picking buckshot out of…seems like it was a rabbit. Or maybe a squirrel.
I don’t hunt because I don’t need to, don’t have the time, and wasn’t brought up a hunter. I fall toward the gun-rights crowd, anyway, although I may not agree with every single thing the NRA stands for.
What can you hunt in Florida? Old people?
Manatees.
Deer. Bear. Other stuff. I saw a doe just last weekend, and that was on the road. They’re having problems up in Longwood with black bears displaced by the storms.
Old people are always in season, but it’s not considered sporting. Plus the meat is stringy.
Wait a minute. I just checked the photos, and those look like Canadian Geese.
What are you people doing shooting our geese?
mmmmm, goose.
hell to carve, but very tasty. i’ve made it a few times during holiday season (which, parenthetically, just arrived in SoCal with the first day of cool weather all year and the first rain in like, forever). i like bringing out the sweetness in the meat with a fruit-based baste and sauce.
never hunted. i was involved in developing a great game bird hunting spot near Bakersfield, the Kern Water Bank, and was invited to go on the inaugural shoot. but i told my host that i was more likely to shoot him than the peasant (sorry, pheasant) [mel brooks joke], so the invite was revoked.
Cal. Fish and Game has these weird programs where they breed pheasants and quail, then place these birds on the fields the night before the hunt. “Put and Take” programs don’t seem all that sporting. any comment?
Francis
Busted! A real Canadian would know it’s a “Canada Goose,” not a “Canadian Goose!”
He’s got your goose there, dpu.
Phil: Busted! A real Canadian would know it’s a “Canada Goose,” not a “Canadian Goose!”
From Wikipedia:
(My bolding). Ha! eh
Plus the meat is stringy.
And so difficult to remove from the radiator of a Hummer.
Manatees.
Real men hunt alligators.
By the way, why do you need a gun to get these geese? I had to slowly cycle through a couple of hundred of these things on my commute home last night. I could have killed about a dozen or so just by running into them.
The gun is for the hunter’s protection. Geese can be very aggressive.
i nominate this for the funniest thread on this blog yet.
Incidentally, hunting manatees is child’s play. Especially if you’re a child with a big old Johnson outboard.
The meat’s better untenderized. Plus getting the feathers unstuck from everything else is more messy.
Crionna’s got my vote for funniest comment, by a hood ornament. Not saying crionna’s a hood ornament or anything…
Edward, it’s what I quoted that I said was 100% wrong, not something else you wrote. I didn’t say a word about “assault weapons,” and neither did what I quoted. I then explained what I meant quite clearly. If you’d like to argue with what I wrote, feel free.
I do hope you’re feeling better today!
Nonono, praktike. You’re supposed to have said something like:
[ed’s note: I delivered this rag as a kid]
Shouldn’t that be “Ed’s note”?
On the internet, no one knows if you’re a hood ornament.
On the internet, no one knows if you’ve got a big Johnson.
You know, of manatee-killing dimensions.
I think the correct formulation is “A Johnson big enough to choke a manatee”
In the end, Slarty, it’s more of a burden than anything else.
Not that I’ve ever strangled a manatee, of course. Especially not in the nude.
In 1960, it was Kennedy’s Johnson who carried him, in several states.
I thought we were talking about outboard motors, here. What are you guys talking about?
Do you know any Johnson motors small enough that a manatee could swallow them, Slarti?
“In 1960, it was Kennedy’s Johnson who carried him, in several states. ”
Personally, I don’t think that the state of a particular Johnson is a topic that’s suitable for polite conversation.
Does anyone notice that Kerry isn’t carrying the birds? What do you suppose the negative spin will be on this one? Too squeamish to be Prez, or too lazy?
I’m going with lazy. After all, this is the candidate that the Onion labelled “the voice of reason that’s killed, like, 20 dudes.”
Yeah, slarti. An outboard motor should be easily big enough to choke all but the largest manatees. What are you talking about?
dpu, the Democrats should appropriate the talking points. I think it’s offensive that Republicans are trying to drive a rift between Kerry and his gun. How dare they speak of his gun. They’ll say anything to get elected.
Particularly not the state of that particularly Johnson, after being dead for 30 years.
This thread is now officially hotter than an episode of Oz.
Sometimes an outboard motor is just an outboard motor.
I strangled a manatee with my Johnson in my pajamas once. What he was doing in my pajamas I’ll never know.
Semi-seriously, given his military service, Kerry knows better than most of us the difference between a weapon and his gun, which is just for fun.
I have no idea what you guys are talking about.
I think it’s offensive that Republicans are trying to drive a rift between Kerry and his gun. How dare they speak of his gun. They’ll say anything to get elected.
“This is my Johnson, this is my gun! This is for motoring, this is for fun!”
Actually, I lied. It’s:
“This is my Johnson, this is my gun! This is for hunting, this is for fun!”
I’m so sorry for having deceived you all.
“Personally, I don’t think that the state of a particular Johnson is a topic that’s suitable for polite conversation.”
But Kennedy’s Johnson was quite amazing. It could hold a beagle up by its ears, all by itself!
It’s reliably stated that a great many women had occasion to personally admire Kennedy’s Johnson.
But one should always keep in mind the well-known British Johnson [that] is a family company that specializes in the development of innovative cleaning products. It’s a remarkable Johnson.
Despite our disagreements, I for one will always honor Kennedy’s Johnson for being able to firm up and comfort a grieving nation after Kennedy’s death.
“Despite our disagreements, I for one will always honor Kennedy’s Johnson for being able to firm up and comfort a grieving nation after Kennedy’s death.”
Well, I’ve heard that the Johnson in question was like a rock in the aftermath of Kennedy’s death, but I just had it figured for just being conspiracy theory.
(pause)
OK, that one I’m especially proud of.
I have no idea what you guys are talking about.
I don’t want to know.
That was truly awful, Moe. And I say that in an admiring way.
I mean, as far as joke Johnsons go, yours was the best.
I mean, as far as joke Johnsons go, yours was the best
…said the actress to the bishop.
I imagine it would have been pretty hard to be a Johnson in the aftermath of Kennedy’s death.
“Of course they’re combining all kinds of attacts in here, and mixing city with noncity, but this would certainly suggest that the police are doing a fine job of preventing violent crime with assault weapons, unless you’re gonna buy its other possible implication that only law-abidding people have assault weapons.”
I’m pretty sure this is a misreading of the statistics. The guns banned by the ‘assault weapons ban have not been a large portion of the gun crimes. That is because the really scary weapons (especially used by gangs in the late 1980s and early 1990s) are the fully automatic guns which were not banned by the assualt weapons ban. They were already banned. As such it says little about police preventing violent crimes.
Partee poopaire.
Indeed, I thought a libation discussion was sure to break out ;(
Not saying crionna’s a hood ornament or anything…
Then again, I do spring back up often enough. Must be the Johnson in me.
“Personally, I don’t think that the state of a particular Johnson is a topic that’s suitable for polite conversation.”
I’m back from my doctor’s appointment, and I realized moments after I left for it, while sitting at the bus stop, that I had forgotten to ask if this also applies to your favorite Bush.
They’re both from the same state, to be sure, but I’m not sure if you’re old enough for your Johnson to have met your favorite Bush.
Excssssellent, Gary!
I remember (and I have to google to find out the dates) when I was apparently between the ages of 5-12 repeating the ‘You doesn’t have to call me Johnson’ sketch with everyone in elementary school, but not having the slightest idea of what it meant. Did I have an idea when I was 12? I don’t think so. At the risk of revealing y’all’s ages, what do you remember about the sketch?
Oh, you doesn’t has to call me Johnson! Wellll, You can
call me Raymond, or you can call me Ray, or you can call me Jay, or you can call me Johnny, or you can call me Sonny, or you can call me Junior, or you can
call me RayJay, or you can call me RJ, or you can call me RJJ or you can call
me RJJ Jr.
What do you suppose the negative spin will be on this one?
“John Kerry, Democratic candidate for President, is shown here commanding a servant — because he is rich and out-of-touch — to prepare a serving of goose-liver pate, which is also enjoyed by the French.” (Photo courtesy FOX News.)
Can’t stop laughing! Boss in the area! Aaargh!