One liners, Election Round-Robbin’ Style

Now, it seems, is as good a time to get our cards on the table. Not to waver, Cuomo-style. (Or “Hamlet-style” for the Romeo+Juliet under-25 set.) Not to analyze. Not to add, subtract, account, or discourse. Not, especially, to caveat or bemoan or argue. But simply to state, pith-like, our choices.

Here’re mine:

President: John Kerry, Democrat. I prefer the idiot restrained by a Republican Congress over the incompetent enabled by a Republican Congress; and, yes, I may have to get drunk before I can cast my vote.

As for the provinces (and having successfully made the transition from Chicago and Indiana*):

Governor: Mitch Daniels (with 527’s apparently on the brain, I initially typed “McConnell”. Aaargh.) Republican. Over a dozen years of Democrats in the Governor’s mansion, and all Indiana has to show for it are discarded jobs, determined scandals, and a dirty campaign from a guy who should know better (Kernan, the Democratic nominee). Time for a change.

Senator: Evan Bayh, Democrat. A social moderate, fiscal conservative, and foreign policy hawk. My kind of Democrat: the kind who would’ve been a Republican in Chicago.

Congressperson: The libertarian — either the one who’s running as a Libertarian, or the former one who’s running as a Republican. But let’s face it: The race is a lock for Julia Carson (D-Indianapolis), despite her heart troubles. (Indeed, it’s such a lock that I’m considering running as a liberal Republican the next time ’round . . . .)

State Representative: In a race between a guy named Mort Large and another named David Orentlicher, I may pencil in a vote for a “Large Orentlicher.” Failing that, I’m tempted to vote for Orentlicher, the incumbant and Democrat, if only because Orentlicher seems a decent enough chap and Large hasn’t yet given me a reason to change my mind.

So, have at it. This is your “it’s a free country” open thread.

*Former homes, the Wicker Park and Southport Corridor (i.e., by the Music Box) neighborhoods in Chicago proper.

64 thoughts on “One liners, Election Round-Robbin’ Style”

  1. Kerry for President
    Bayh for Senator
    Kernan for Governor (yes, the state government has had some troubles, but I do not trust putting a Republican in power when they keep trying to write homosexual bigotry into the state constitution)
    David Sanders for Congress, Democratic challenger to Steven Buyer. Buyer was the doofus who called for nuclear strikes in Afghanistan, and who falsely claimed to be called up for the Army this spring. He asked for a leave of absence from the Congress for this, but the Army insisted that they never called him up and that they don’t need him. Sanders is a biology prof at Purdue, with sensible views about domestic and foreign policy.
    I don’t know much about the other local races, I’ll cast my worthless liberal vote into the sea of conservativism that is Hendricks County.

  2. Kerry for President (surprise, surprise.)
    Mikulski (D) for Senator: though she voted against raising the CAFE standards, her opponent is much worse.
    Ruppersberger (D) for Representative: he voted for the repeal of the estate tax, but he’s otherwise reasonable, and in the House, in particular, it would take a lot to get me to consider voting for someone who would help keep Tom DeLay in a leadership position.

  3. From the CoDel with Dana Rohrabacher:
    President: Kerry
    Senator: Boxer (incredibly reluctantly. would the California republican party PLEASE get its act together?)
    Rep: Makes no difference. Rohrabacher has one of the safest seats anywhere.
    YES on Prop. 66. California’s 3 Strikes Law is far too broad, and i don’t want to be taking care of petty thieves in prison until the day they die. Halfway houses and those anklet thingies are a better option for non-violent career criminals.
    Francis

  4. Kerry (duh).
    Capuano (D) for Congress. I believe this one is uncontested, but I can do it enthusiastically. He may run for governor soon.
    Shannon (D) for state Senator. He’s done nothing to either impress or annoy me; anyway he’s unopposed.
    State Rep: this is the only one where there’s any question. The Democrat is pro-life, the Republican is pro-choice, and both support gay marriage. And the Republican candidate is a poet–only in the Greater People’s Republic. I am having a hard time finding out the Republican’s position on economic and environmental issues. He’s basically running a libertarian goo-goo (in favor of contested elections and two competitive parties) campaign. I’m somewhat sympathetic to the goo goo half, but less so to the libertarian half when it comes to economic issues, and he seems like kind of a flake. (See this quote to a Harvard newspaper: “It’s a humiliating experience,” Slavitt says of the signature-gathering. “I see myself doing stuff that the entire purpose of a Harvard degree is to defend against.”)
    I’ll probably vote for the incumbent, Tim Toomey. My main problem with him was his support for House Speaker Tom Finneran, and Finneran’s gone now–and with Finneran, the GOP candidate’s chances of outpolling the Democratic primary challenger or the 2002 Green party challenger are probably gone too.

  5. OT: ““It’s a humiliating experience,” Slavitt says of the signature-gathering. “I see myself doing stuff that the entire purpose of a Harvard degree is to defend against.”” — UGH. As the proud possessor of a Harvard degree, who spent untold hours during grad school having to convince people that I harbored no such feelings, and who moreover thinks that if the point of a Harvard degree were in fact to make conversing with others unnecessary, then the place should be shut down, UGH. That attitude makes my skin crawl.

  6. And if Kerry wins, Edward Markey in the Democratic primary for his Senate seat. I like Marty Meehan and Barney Frank a whole lot, know less about Martha Moakley–but how could I not vote for the one Congressman as pissed about extraordinary rendition as I am? We need more than Joe Biden, Carl Levin and Patrick Leahy working on human rights and civil liberties issues in the war on terror. I’d probably volunteer for Markey’s campaign.

  7. Kerry for President, because I don’t think we will recognize the country after 4 more years of Bush.
    Hoeffel for Senator, because while I’ve voted for Darlin’ Arlen before, I’ve seen him cave in to the Republican leadership too often.
    Allyson Schwartz for Representative, because it’s not worth moving to vote in a district which is actually going to be close (although there are 3 such districts with 15 miles, so I’m seeing way too many ads).

  8. Kerry for Prez. And I’m one of those Dems who’ll have to get drunk before I vote.
    I live in the District, so I vote for very few things that count to begin with.

  9. Mitch Daniels? I would love to give McConnell to Indians, but don’t think he intends to move anytime soon.
    Aaargh. And I even posted after I had my coffee. I’ve corrected it.

  10. Kerry for president. I’ve come around to the position that Kerry as president may actually be a good thing as opposed to the least worst of two bad options.
    For Senator, Chuck Schumer(D). After the herculean feat of defeating Alphonse D’Amato, AKA Senator Pothole, he’s been an unspectacular but inoffensive senator and, quite frankly, I had to google to see who his opponent was.
    Tim Bishop(D) for congress. This is a GOP district with a D representative, so this will be close. Manger is a bit of a snake and Bishop is a pill, but honestly, unless he was a confirmed baby-eater, I wouldn’t vote against a democrat for congress.

  11. I don’t know enough about US politicians to take part.
    I just hope Kerry wins, and that he does bring in Republicans to his Administration. Speaking as a non-American, I think the world could use a united America. I don’t see a great, great many blogs working for unity if Bush wins, or if Kerry wins. And if Kerry wins, there are bloggers who support him who do not want unity. You probably know at least one or two I mean.
    I don’t think there’s going to be that much of a united America. But I do have more hope in Kerry than I do in Bush, and I have more hope in unity under Kerry than I do in Bush.

  12. My ballot will match Katherine’s: Kerry, Toomey, the unopposed guys. I’m not so big a fan of Capuano. He strikes me as a pretty standard issue pol. Plus I emailed him on extraordinary rendition and got no answer.
    I’m undecided on the Senate if Kerry wins, but lean toward Frank.

  13. Kerry for President.
    Democrat Denise Majette for Senate. Even if I agreed with Johnny Isakson on any other major contentious issue (which I don’t), and even if I didn’t find utterly repugnant his soft-focus baby-kissing ads which declare that “anything in the hands of a terrorist can be a weapon of mass destruction” (ugh!) the absolute single-issue deal-breaker would be that he is a strong proponent of the so-called “Fair Tax”, which will shift a large portion of the tax burden from the investor class onto the shoulders of the wage-earning middle class.
    And Democrat John Lewis for the House. The seat is uncontested, but I will feel extremely proud to cast this vote. He’s a Good Guy.

  14. Ahh, ol’ Hamlet-on-the-Hudson used to be a neighbor of mine (his house was a little nicer!). What would the political landscape look like today if he was the nominee in ’92?
    As for this election, straight D: Kerry, Boxer, Matsui. The propositions are going to keep me up cramming though. I’m against both gambling ones, suspicious of both local revenue ones, and undecided on both primary ones. Sheesh, remember when there used to be just one per issue?

  15. Kerry for president, absolutely without reservation. It’s not that I think Kerry is wonderful, but he’s not /bad/–and when I look at the alternative, there’s simply no question. As I recently wrote, I am a single-issue voter.
    Senate: Patty Murray.
    Congress: Jim McDermott. Yes, Baghdad Jim. No, I don’t like him. But Carol Cassady is so hard-right that I can’t fathom being able to stomach anything she’d fight for. And she wants to get rid of Sound Transit. Screw you, Carol, I don’t drive.
    Governor: Christine Gregoire. It would’ve been nice to have a moderate Republican to vote for this time, since Locke is such an incompetent tool, but we got Dino Rossi instead, a hard-right social conservative. It’s too bad, too, because other than his noxious positions on social issues, Rossi has a good track record for working with Democrats and reaching across party lines.
    Oh, and voting for I-892 and I-297, against R-55.

  16. President: John Kerry. Prefer the guys with a plan for getting out of Iraq over the guys with a plan for getting out of Vietnam

  17. Oh, and how could I forget the constitutional amendment on the Georgia ballot. I think the vote has a good chance of getting thrown out on constitutional grounds, since the ballot item only asks:

    Shall the Constitution be amended so as to provide that this state shall recognize as marriage only the union of man and woman?”
    (  ) YES
    (  ) NO

    However, the full language of the amendment reads:

    Paragraph I. Recognition of marriage. (a) This state shall recognize as marriage only the union of man and woman. Marriages between persons of the same sex are prohibited in this state.   (b) No union between persons of the same sex shall be recognized by this state as entitled to the benefits of marriage. This state shall not give effect to any public act, record, or judicial proceeding of any other state or jurisdiction respecting a relationship between persons of the same sex that is treated as a marriage under the laws of such other state or jurisdiction. The courts of this state shall have no jurisdiction to grant a divorce or separate maintenance with respect to any such relationship or otherwise to consider or rule on any of the parties´ respective rights arising as a result of or in connection with such relationship.”

    Georgia’s state constitution prohibits more than one issue from being combined into one item on a ballot, meaning Georgians should be able to vote on parts (a) and (b) separately. This is not even to mention the fact that the ballot description is deceptive, as far more folks favor outlawing gay marriage than favor outlawing civil unions.
    Needless to say, I’ll be voting “NO”.

  18. Kerry for president, Michael Jaliman for Congress, in another hopeless race against incumbent (R) Sue Kelly.
    Chuchundra, why not consider a third party candidate over Schumer? You’re right that his largest opponent isn’t worth consideration – Mills has 13% to Schumer’s 60-something, so there’s no real contest for that Senate seat.

  19. Bush for President, though my presidential vote is for popular vote totals only since I live in California.
    No on every single California initiative. None of them are important enough to be written into the California Constitution–not even the ones I am mildly interested in.

  20. I might consider a 3rd party — if there was one I thought worth supporting. 3rd parties in NY, as far as I can tell, are either loonies or all about getting one the big 2 to pander to you and and hand out some patronage jobs in return for an endorsement.
    Schumer isn’t great, but he isn’t bad. He’s probably thinking about running for Governor, but he’s much too bland and certainly no match for Spitzer.
    Spitzer is a bulldog who makes corporate CEOs wet their pants. He’ll be governor in NY if that’s what he wants.

  21. From the wilds of No. AZ, already voted early:
    Kerry/Edwards
    Starky (D) for Senate. A protest vote against McCain, for his unconscionable campaigning for Bush. We’re really gunning for Kyl in ’06.
    Babbitt (D) for CD-1 Congress. Rick Renzi has voted with the Bush agenda 96%, earned his spot on the LCV’s “Dirty Dozen”, and is firmly in the pocket of area developers.
    Locally, we have many Reps running unopposed, but in the contested races, I actually voted for a Rep, Tom O’Halleran, one of my state representatives.
    Firm “No” on Prop. 200.

  22. Pres: Kerry (D)
    Gov: Bennett (L)
    If I could hack off Rossi (R)’s muddled social conservativism and just keep the economic side, I’d vote for him. If you give me a saw and a bottle of Grey Goose, I just might do the hacking.
    LG: Langlois (L)
    Her only campaign promise is to shut down the office of LG, which does nothing and costs $400K a year. Sign me up.
    Senate: Murray (D)
    Rep: abstain
    I won’t vote for McDermott. I’d take him over Cassady, but I don’t have to worry about it.
    I892: Extremely torn on this one. Strong liberty principles say gambling is a choice and illegalizing it is beyond the ambit of government. On the other hand I know for a fact that legalizing gambling and using the profits to lower property taxes amounts to nothing but a tax on the poor and hopeful to subsidize the wealthy landed. I’ll vote for it on principle and feel really bad about it. Maybe donate to an anti-gambling education project.

  23. Well, due to the oddities of the absentee-ballot system for citizens living abroad, I received a full Santa Cruz County ballot, all the way down to the local school board.
    I didn’t really feel justified in voting on anything non-statewide, since I don’t, y’know, live there anymore — but I voted straight D on the national-office stuff. Right now I think who’s in Congressional leadership roles is more important than the quality of individual senators or reps. Alas.

  24. For some reason, election officals are refusing to register non-American-citizen Canadians living in Canada.
    You call that a democracy?
    But if I could vote, I’ve vote against Bush, as many times as was legal.

  25. I’m votin’ for Bush, and then I’m fixin’ to write in his name for every other office, and if possible, the stupid California Initiatives, too:)

  26. Write in Candidates! Now you’re talking Navy!
    Hilary for Prez
    Bill for NY Senate
    Me for local congressional race (OK, so Katherine, if she’ll move back)

  27. Can I ask a slightly, but only slightly, OT question? How would you respond to this Economist poll question?
    How confident are you that the presidential election will be fair?
    A) Very
    B) Reasonably
    C) Not Really
    D) No Confidence
    To avoid derailing the thread, please only give the letter or the one or two word answer–without digressions about how the Republicans are election thieves or the Democrats are tinfoil hatted moonbats.
    I’d have picked C, which was what a plurality of Democrats picked.

  28. Bush.
    Ric Keller. He’s done pretty well, and his opponent’s efforts to discredit him because he’s divorced were…ill-considered.
    Martinez. He pissed me off, but his opponent showed herself to be nearly incapable of coherent discussion during the latest debate. Really, there’s someone running for public office that’s a worse speaker than George W. Bush. Much, much worse.
    Amendments:
    1) No. The physician ought to notify the parents when performing an abortion on a minor, but I don’t want it in the constitution.
    2) Yes. Constitutional amendments spring from long-standing issues that are around for years before election time. Ninety days prior to an election is not enough time for sufficient debate on the matter to occur.
    3) No. Yes, I agree that malpractice attorneys charging a percentage of the take is somewhat lacking in taste, but no, I don’t want it in the Constitution. Especially when doctors aren’t losing their license to practice as a result of egregious malpractice.
    4) No. We’ve done the taxing-the-lottery bait-and-switch here before, now we’re going to put in slot machines for tax revenue?
    5) No. The Fed can raise minimum wage if it wants.
    6) Yes. The high-speed rail is designed to serve the tourism industry, and won’t appreciably change road traffic. Let the tourism industry pay for it. Statewide high-speed rail might make some sense, but this ain’t it. This is a vote to repeal.
    7) No, just because I’m feeling pissy. Correction: because although having a bad doctor database available to the public might be a good thing, making it part of the state constitution (and furthermore making the requirement ridiculously vague) isn’t.
    8) Undecided. A three-strikes malpractice rule for suspending license to practice sounds good, but…maybe we can revisit this after Amendment 2 passes.

  29. JFTR:
    Pres: Kerry
    Sen: Schumer (not much choice there)
    Rep: Carolyn Maloney – though not enthusiastically: just a personal issue: I made repeated to calls and emails to her office re the “extraordinary rendition” flap and got zippo response. Not good constituent relations.
    And Eliot Spitzer, of course, if he’s on there.
    ANd Katherine: B

  30. Andrew, LOL (too hip for the Pres)
    Jes, what kind of trouble is our economy in when the POTUS can’t afford solid tailoring?
    yup!

  31. re felixrayman’s photo: what is going on there?
    Is Bush wearing a bullet proof garment of some sort? A brace?
    sumptin’s up

  32. President: a big ol dog. Just lookit that big ol dog!
    Congress: Patrick Kennedy! I believe his opponent this year was actually a mock-up fashioned entirely outta sticks an clay.
    State Senate: This is a tricky one. Incumbent Rhoda Perry (D) is runnin against Barry Fain (Ind.)! Both are left-to-Greenish progressives. There are no Republicans on the ballot. There are no Republicans in my district.
    State Assembly: Paul E. Moura (D). His challenger, a Republican, died at the age of 31 over a week ago. There are noooo Republicans here. Nooooooo Republicans at all.
    “Yes” on all the propositions! Transportation bonds for all!

  33. Kerry, Mikulski, Van Hollen.
    No on county council term limits, yes on getting rid of at-large county council seats.
    Voted today, as I’m off to NM over election day to hope that nothing happens in my precinct that requires a lawyer.

  34. I’m with CharleyCarp. Kerry, Mikulski, and Von Hollen.
    Kerry? Duh! We need a guy who thinks that the job of President is more important than clearing brush. (Real Texans don’t clear brush. Real Texans hire Mexicans to clear brush.)
    Mikulski even though she’s a jerk and has the rudest staff on the Hill. Last time, her opponent was Alan Keys. At least, that had some amusement value.
    Von Hollen’s a good guy. Even after two years, my brain still insists on parsing his name as “Van Halen”. Would make for a far more interesting campaign ….
    Traditianally, I’ve voted straight ticket for the “throw the rascals out” party. When (if?) the Republicans come to their senses and throw out the current crop of theocrats, cross burners, fascist wanabees, and Trotskyite retreads, I’ll be very happy to go back. “Politicians and diapers should be changed regularly, for the same reason.”

  35. Kerry for President.
    Salazar for Senator. Pete Coors is the Republican candidate because he’s willing to mouth the party positions and pay his own campaign expenses, a point he proved recently by writing another $500,000 personal check to his campaign organization.
    Democrats for state legislative office. The Republicans have demonstrated that they would rather have their tax rebates than to have higher education in the state of Colorado. At the current rate, four more years of Republican control and there will, quite literally, be no public higher ed here.
    No on amendment 36 (allocate electoral votes in proportion to popular vote). I’ve lived in western states with small populations most of my life. We’ve got little enough control over our own destiny, I’m not about to vote to reduce it any more.

  36. Prez: Kerry (D) (at this point he could come out and say that the first priority of his administration will be to kick as many puppies as possible and I’d probably still vote for him)
    WA Gov: Rossi (R). I have a personal issue with the D canidate and a vindictive streak. Plus I’m kind of interested to see what he does.
    House: Myself (Fledermaus party). I’m in McDermont’s district. Relative to R canidate (“today’s textbooks are unconstitutional”) he appears almost sane, but then again that’s not setting the bar very high. Really the republicians missed a chance to pick up a seat by not running a thoughtful moderate (McD, running unopposed in the D primary had twice the write-ins of other unopposed house canidates in Seattle)
    Senate: Murray (D). If Nethercutt and his fellow republicians in the House can’t control the deficit, what good are they?

  37. Edit: WA Gov: Bennett (L)
    thanks, sidereal. I didn’t know the libertarians were running a canidate – I’m on board.

  38. I suggest to fafnir that if there are no Republicans in your district do what Navy Davy does – make one up. That’s what I have to do sometimes so I can vote against them. We have no Gila Monsters where I live so I have to make one up. So I can vote against it. Rattle Snake may turn against us. My constitution prevents me from voting for Big ol’ dog. Giblets it is. All bow to Giblets, now.

  39. I’m considering writing in Giblets and then voting against him, but I’m afraid that’d spoil my ballot.
    Without me, there would be no Loyal Opposition, because you lot are a fawning, Giblets-loving echo chamber.

  40. Kerry.
    Actually, straight Democrat just this once, instead of carefully weighing each candidate. That’s for two reasons. One, because I am so p*ssed at the Republican’s foisting GWB on me. I want them to know that there next presidential candidate should be a moderate conservative.
    Two, because it would make Kerry more effective if he had a Dem majority in either Senate or House (pipe dream, I know).
    Voting straight Dem won’t be too bad here actually, since Joe Hoeffel and Lois Murphy seem okay.

  41. I live with Giblets an there’s no way I’m votin for him.
    But wouldn’t he let you move into the White House if he wins? Think of all the secret tunnels, the great eating, the bowling alley…

  42. Free room service! Endless supply of beer! Midnight snacks in the WH kitchen!
    What’s not to like? I bet they’ve got a killer theater there, too. Probably showing Doctor Strangelove continuously, too.

  43. Sorry I’m late.
    For president: John Kerry. I just don’t think the President is doing a very good job — on anything.
    US Senate: Barack Obama. Do I really have to explain this one?
    US Representative: Melissa Bean. I don’t know if the stuff they say about Crane is true — the junkets, 35 years as nothing more than a seat warmer — but I do know that he’s co-sponsor of several bills that I am incensed about, so no vote.
    State Senator: Patrick Ouimet. Normally I leave state offices as-is unless someone pisses me off. Listen, Pam, about that mailing: it’s “Democratic,” not “Democrat.” If you play word games with me, you lose.
    State Representative: Jack Franks. See above rule about state offices.

  44. Kerry. As the Bush bulge-under-t-shirt photo proves, Bush is really an evil robot, and I don’t trust evil robots to go any higher than vice-president.
    Schumer. What can I say? I like wonks. If you hang around him, he has a fun geeky charm, and was very friendly and helpful when he came to visit my local officials — Republicans, all.
    Otherwise I just moved, so I can’t even name the pols.

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