In honor of the concept of “Not gonna happen”…

… somebody should go explain to Mel Gibson that it is exceedingly unlikely, to say the least that The Passion of the Christ will ever be shown uncut on network television. Yes, I know, bringing a gross of $353 million in the domestic market normally turns a director into the proverbial 800lb gorilla, but I … Read more

Long live the glorious blogging proletarian revolution?

I always enjoy it when the Commissar metagames this thing of ours, but I’m unsure whether his latest (The Blogger’s Manifesto) is serious, or not. I’m hoping ‘not’: when it comes right down to it, hitcount is lovely, yes, bragging rights are wonderful, indeed, I like the idea of a wide audience, sure… but, really, how are the bigger blogger’s successes taking bread out of my mouth? It’s not like any of the bloggers here get paid for this*, after all.

Still, Manifesto #6 – “Linking to smaller comrades” – is something I like; there’s always somebody out there saying something that I wish that I had said first, after all. Besides, I understand all too well how addictive Trackbacks can be.

Moe

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Presumably the relevant names will be spelled correctly this time.

Robotic Menace (to the world in general, and Sydney Poitier in particular) Mecha-Streisand Entertainer Barbra Streisand, not being content with contributing to Gephardt being gutted like a cod on a Atlantic trawler* having discovered that she has a taste for Democratic politics, has apparently decided to permanently associate the current Democratic candidate with her name, politics and inability to do basic research throw Senator Kerry a party. I am actually feeling sorry for the man, now: I mean, he has to be nice to people like Streisand, not to mention actually pretend to take her seriously. I wouldn’t go into politics if my life depended on it hope they all have a good time. I watch helplessly, every day, as my cobloggers suck up all the important stories, leaving me nothing but scraps and Barbra Fragging Streisand to blog about** always find this sort of thing interesting.

Via Wonkette Wonkette

UPDATE: On reflection, deliberately misspelling the names wasn’t as funny as I imagined it being, so I fixed it.

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Carpeicthus Memorial Counterfactual Thread

Because I am in glorious geekmode tonight, that’s why. Post your favorite alternate history scenarios here. For myself, I’ve always been interested in what would have happened if Islam had expanded west into Byzantium, instead of going east into Persia. What would that have changed – and what would have stayed the same?

Deer in a headlight moment.

My girlfriend felt the need this evening to read an article aloud about weddings. I can’t imagine why; we’ve only being going out for seven years and living together for two. Besides, I’m sure that all couples start joint savings accounts for the specific purpose of saving up for the down payment on a house. I’d continue in this vein, but considering that the wedding article in question was written by Dave Barry*, I’d just be deluding myself on two levels, not one: Shotgun Wedding (Brides, a word of advice: Firearms might not be the best party favors)

(pause)

Jeebus, there’s an embarrassment of riches here. A taste:

Well, guess what? According to the Internet — and if we can’t trust the Internet, who the hell can we trust? — birds do not explode from eating rice. Avocados, yes; that is exactly why we do not throw avocados at the bride and groom. But rice is fine, except of course for the carbohydrates.

There’s also some stuff about guns and deranged bull monarch butterflies, although unfortunately not at the same time.

Moe

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This is an impossibility.

There can be no Starship Troopers sequel, even if it’s direct-to-video, because THERE WAS NEVER A STARSHIP TROOPERS MOVIE FOR IT TO BE A SEQUEL TO IN THE FIRST PLACE. If there had been, and had been the sort of film that rumor suggests, it would have been regrettably necessary to cut off Paul Verhoeven’s … Read more

Epiphany.

Yeah, one of those. I was reading Respectful of Otters (and let me tell you, after this story I’m quite ready to respect them*), and I was doing my best to keep up with the material being referenced in this post when it hit me: this is probably how most people think of our shared hobby (political wonkery). It obviously has relevance, the people involved take it quite seriously… and you really feel the lack of a scorecard beyond a certain level of complexity. Worse, you feel like that you should be keeping up with all of this, so the inadequacy fires up…

Still, fascinating stuff, though I suspect that a good deal of subtext is going right over my head. Ach, well, that happens when you’re a Right Wing Death Beast.

Moe

UPDATE: FEAR THE OTTER’S RIGHTEOUS PAWS AND FANGS OF FURY, YE PUNY, COWERING MORTALS!!!!!

(pause)

Actually, I just felt like typing that out. I’m not really sure why.

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I’m sorry, but I have to mock you now.

As a general rule of thumb, when writing your own alternate history scenarios in response to other people’s alternate history scenarios, it helps if you can demonstrate at least a cursory knowledge of your subject matter. Like, say, knowing exactly what impeachment entails, the non parliamentary nature of the United States government, minor little details like that. As for being humorless and heavy-handed, well, Willis and Easterbrook were about even there anyway. Finally, when you get caught out, don’t get huffy about it.

(UPDATE: The mockery ends here, btw.)

Still, it’s a good question: how would have things gone under a hypothetical Gore administration? In my admittedly odd and heretical opinion: pretty much the same as under Bush. In my opinion, the recession, 9/11 and the Afghanistan invasion would have happened pretty much on schedule; as for Iraq… six month delay at most, more likely three, possibly even no delay at all, depending on how little said h.G.a. felt like humoring the UN. About the most significant difference would probably be that we’d probably have a Democratic Senate, maybe a Democratic House (I kind of doubt it, but it’s possible)… and a lot more lip service support from certain foreign countries. Everything else? Same old, same old: there’d be a recovering economy (none of this stuff about tax cuts and interest rates, it’s all about appeasing the economic gods with the appropriate animal sacrifices), a seething Iraq and a scandal-ridden UN* in this alternate, too.

As to how well Gore would have handled this… if you want to believe that he would have solved it all and wrapped it up in a bow, knock yourself out; likewise to those who’d consider the “We’d All Be Doomed” scenario to be more likely. We’re never going to know either way – or even if a third option (“Eh. He got through it, some good here, some bad there, got lucky a few times, got knocked back once or twice”) would have been the end result.

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Tax Slamming

A Private email has requested another ObWi Poetry Slam. We live but to serve. The Slam will go up on April 16, 2004, starting at 8:00 PM EST; I won’t tell you to write about taxes, but given the date I won’t be surprised, either. And now, to bed. Getting posts out tonight was like … Read more

An interesting speculation.

Wretchard of the Belmont Club is claiming to smell a rat in the accounts of three different journalist capture/releases iin Iraq; he’s essentially suggesting that the similarities in each case are sufficient to suggest that Western journalists are being used to disseminate disinformation. It sounds plausible – possibly too plausible, and begs the question of … Read more